How is it possible to reach out when you can't?

When mental illness covers up who you used to be, how is it possible to find people to communicate with?

It seems impossible to me that anybody would want to know me. I know for a fact that as soon as I start talking, I regret it.
It's too much gloom and doom for ANY person to deal with. Even myself. I don't even want to know me.

It's sad and it hurts. Because I can't WILL myself to be fun or better or happy. Depression doesn't come and go. It isn't temporary.

In fact, I loathe this depression and so I loathe myself. I can't separate me from it. Please don't tell me it's possible. It isn't.

I used to be interesting and vital. I could speak about current issues and had drive to learn.

Now...I'm just a container for a dark soul with NOTHING to offer. I know this. So I guess I answered my own question.

It is impossible and unfair to "invite" others into your life.

sophiemom, do you see a therapist?

I know what you mean. It seems like nobody wants to be around us when we're depressed, and we can't get out of the doom and gloom way of talking.

Post here until things get better.

I am sorry for your pain - please reach out in whichever ways you can here at least. I and many others appreciate your posts.

I for one enjoy your company ... and you have a standing invitation anytime ...

I join the others!

:SM.

Girl.

I hear you.

It's part of our depression that we discount our value to others. And even our worth to ourselves.

Doesn't mean it's true -- just that it's something we do.

Kinda like saying "feeling bad feels bad." Well, YEAH! lol

I got you, girl.

xo

Chyia