No guy will love me

black-roses · Apr 07, 2017, 09:18 AM

No guy will ever love me

~Christina · Apr 08, 2017, 03:31 PM

How do you feel about yourself ?

Apr 08, 2017, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

How do you feel about yourself ?

This is a very good point. It is first and foremost important that you love yourself. It is nice to be loved by a significant other, but we can't depend on that for our happiness.

Apr 08, 2017, 03:59 PM

hugs to you, black roses. I like what Christina and Scaredandconfused said. They are wise.

Angel_Davis · Apr 08, 2017, 05:10 PM

You will find love. We all do things wrong and mess up. No one is better than anyone else. You may have gotten this idea from your parents, but don't listen to that.

black-roses · Apr 09, 2017, 03:01 AM

I miss who I was before I became complicated and messed up I just want to go back being normal

Cocosurviving · Apr 09, 2017, 08:58 PM

I've been there.....I would miss who I was before I got sick (2011-2012). I even had to move to a different state for what I thought would be family support. But it's now 2016 and with therapy I'm now ok. I had to go so I could accept the new chapter of my life. To accept that my old life was now in the past and that I need to learn how to help me in my illness. I'm doing ok now. I do not go to therapy anymore. I've wanted to from time to time but I can't afford it right now. Don't give up....think about a support group

black-roses · Apr 10, 2017, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

I've been there.....I would miss who I was before I got sick (2011-2012). I even had to move to a different state for what I thought would be family support. But it's now 2016 and with therapy I'm now ok. I had to go so I could accept the new chapter of my life. To accept that my old life was now in the past and that I need to learn how to help me in my illness. I'm doing ok now. I do not go to therapy anymore. I've wanted to from time to time but I can't afford it right now. Don't give up....think about a support group

I've been to so many psychologists but I feel like my problem is too do with interpersonal things like setting boundaries and sticking to them. I feel I need help in becoming independent and relying on myself because I've let my past go but I can't commit to anything for a very long time, for two reasons my concentration won't allow it and I don't have a very strong will.

eyesclosed · Apr 10, 2017, 04:13 AM

Dear BlackRoses
I have felt the same way since sept 30 2015, I feel like someone has stolen my identity parts of my soul were taken I'm not who I used to be. No one I see for help believes this there is no support I can't love or be loved that was stolen your not alone live one day at a time and maybe we will wake up the next day with all that was stolen put back in place I hope it happens soon for us.

black-roses · Apr 10, 2017, 06:17 PM

My values contradict themselves and so does my sexuality. I'm dealing with opposing forces. The thing is it doesn't make any sense to feel this way and I'm not sure of the origin of the cause. I'm just split in the middle

Onward2wards · 12:01 AM

Inner conflicts are part of being human. They hurt. The thing is who do you want to be? Forget what anyone else says, you get to define yourself and decide what is right for you. Sometimes a therapist can help point out pros and cons, and be a guide, but eventually you get to define your own boundaries and express your own preferences. Some of this just comes out of getting more experiences.

As for fearing that no guy will ever love you - if that were literally true, I would have to assume my entire gender is heartless, an incompetent judge of character, and blind. I've read enough of your posts to conclude that you are a thoughtful, considerate person with deep feelings and relatable fears. What is there not to like? Sooner or later, surely you will find someone who loves you for you and the mutual chemistry will work. I wish I could offer some "one weird trick" that makes it all work more efficiently.

black-roses · Apr 11, 2017, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Onward2wards

Inner conflicts are part of being human. They hurt. The thing is who do you want to be? Forget what anyone else says, you get to define yourself and decide what is right for you. Sometimes a therapist can help point out pros and cons, and be a guide, but eventually you get to define your own boundaries and express your own preferences. Some of this just comes out of getting more experiences.

As for fearing that no guy will ever love you - if that were literally true, I would have to assume my entire gender is heartless, an incompetent judge of character, and blind. I've read enough of your posts to conclude that you are a thoughtful, considerate person with deep feelings and relatable fears. What is there not to like? Sooner or later, surely you will find someone who loves you for you and the mutual chemistry will work. I wish I could offer some "one weird trick" that makes it all work more efficiently.

That's very true I guess I became very rose coloured in my version letting others tell me what to think and feel about things and as I'm gaining wisdom and experience I'm realizing, they had no idea what they were talking about, they literally assumed they knew my situation because of there "psychic" abilities but there words don't actually match what happened. I guess there's a time in our lives when we need to learn to think for ourselves and to stick up for what we believe in. Those so called psychics were fear mongers nothing they said about my health and relationships were true. That being said I'm tired of listening to peoples advise and forgetting my inner voice. I'm not doing this anymore. I know that the situation with guys I really need to listen to my gut if I'm really that disgusted by men then maybe I'm not as straight as I once thought. It's okay to change our minds about something were not all set in stone. I know I'm progressively changing with the waves of the ocean. I think with more experience around relationships I'll have a stronger more defined boundary. When it comes to guys I'm very used to feeling uncomfortable and I think that means something on a sensory level that I need to explore the multiple causes of it.

eyesclosed · Apr 11, 2017, 02:32 PM

BlackRoses I don't know if you are taking any meds for your health. I can say in my loss of love or beloved it is caused by a sudden decrease in dosage of ssri and that the reintroduction of the same dose has done nothing.

black-roses · Apr 11, 2017, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eyesclosed

BlackRoses I don't know if you are taking any meds for your health. I can say in my loss of love or beloved it is caused by a sudden decrease in dosage of ssri and that the reintroduction of the same dose has done nothing.

Yes I take antidepressants and adhd meds