[Misssy2]

I am 53.
Had a 22 year relationship..not so great.
Had a 6 year relationship..not so great.
Had a 5 year relationship..worse than ever.

I am so relieved that this guy was removed from my house this week. I can breathe...I hope I can sleep better soon..I think I am still in shock...and angry at myself for putting up with his crap for so long.

I just realized..if I CAN STAY SINGLE..I will definitely live longer.
If you are not in a good relationship...I know from experience it can take years off your life.

If you are in a good relationship..I envy you and wish you continued happiness..but it is not FOR ME.

[LadyShadow]

Good for you!

I am glad you removed that toxic person from your life, and you are moving on. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. I am single too, and I think I will be for the rest of my life. I have a best friend thought (who is male) and has been my companion through the years.

Honestly, I think he will be the one I will grow old with, and that's okay.

Do what's best for YOU and take care of yourself. It sounds like you are on the right track.

[Misssy2]

Thank you Lady Shadow..I am so grateful it is over.

People who say that being in a relationship is better for your health and causes you to live longer are full of crap because relationships bring most of us more pain than happiness.

I couldn't care less about "growing old" with somebody because I personally don't want to live past 50-60 anyways unless I can be made into a cyborg or have my conscience saved to a computer or something because life as a human is too painful and I know that when I grow old I will be bitter and unhappy because I will see people young and happy and I will envy them; kind of like how I envy children with loving parents now. Not to mention, I will no longer be attractive to people and people will no longer care about me or pay attention to me and that thought is scary.

So screw relationships. I will die young and happy rather than old and miserable.

Your path to enlightenment begins now Missy.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm happy for you!

[Sunflower123]

I agree. I had a 20 year marriage where my SO didn't believe in mental illness. At the end it was verbally and emotionally and pure ****. As soon as I left I started getting better. I've not been interested in a relationship in the 8 years since.

[Nammu]

I do much better single too. Congratulations for getting him out of your life.

[eyesclosed]

Missy2 you really had enough and got him out. The good thing is you weren't married. I'm happy it's over and you feel better.

[2inchtallman]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

Good for you!

I am glad you removed that toxic person from your life, and you are moving on. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. I am single too, and I think I will be for the rest of my life. I have a best friend thought (who is male) and has been my companion through the years.

Honestly, I think he will be the one I will grow old with, and that's okay.

Do what's best for YOU and take care of yourself. It sounds like you are on the right track.

Wow! Great advice and words of wisdom!

[Erebos]

Have had good and bad relationships. But the previous 6/7 years I spent single were great. Really have me a focus of what I wanted, what I was willing to compromise on,(not a lot honestly).
Really got to know me. When I did meet someone I was able to put firm boundaries in place.
We don't live together, we go for coffee a few times a fortnight, and I stay one weekend a month.

The rest of the time is my time. I don't want to share my home again. Or have to consider someone else every time I do something, I already have four kids I do that for.

For me, and him that's enough. Maybe it will last, maybe it won't. Either way I enjoy being single more than being in a full time relationship.

Maybe it's just getting older and realising life is short enough to do what you want without putting things on hold for the sake of a relationship.

Ideally of course we wouldn't have too.
Ideally all relationships would accept each individuals motivations and ambitions. Unfortunately it rarely works out that way.

Anyway good for you OP, take your time to grieve, don't try and tell yourself you shouldn't just cos he was an ***.
The loss of a relationship still requires healing. So be kind to yourself and take it slow.
Try doing something YOU wanted to do for yourself once or twice a week.
And don't let your thoughts runaway with you, once the relief has passed you might find yourself second guessing yourself.
Keep this post and remember how it felt the day after.
Take care. Namaste.

[Medusax]

I am coming up on my 27th year of marriage. I couldn't agree with you more.

[Misssy2]

The verdict is in..99% of the people are single on the thread..and enjoy it better..I knew it..I was always trying to please someone else, parents, teachers, bosses...then men...I'm so DONE.

Relationships are for losers.

While couples are going around being tied to each other limiting their potential and happiness in life I will go around doing what I want, indulging on my passions, and just being awesome.

Good job for coming to the revelation that relationships aren't all what they're cracked up to be.

I wish you nothing but happiness

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

People who say that being in a relationship is better for your health and causes you to live longer are full of crap because relationships bring most of us more pain than happiness.

Completely agree. If anyone wants to run with the idea I would love someone to start a website for people who have figured this out. I already have a title... Gorilla Tactics for being Single in Society that pushes relationships.

Missy and I am glad you got rid of him. But the sad truth is that over a certain age... it is pretty impossible to find a decent guy. But in general today people are just TERRIBLE. Relationship or not. I am talking friend. They don't know manners, they don't know compassion, they don't know give and take. They only know how to be ME ME ME. Faced with that.... it is literally foolish to want relationships which don't make YOUR life any better just because you are supposed to.

If more people turned off and demanded good friends these people wouldn't have any.