[gloria]

My husband and I went out and as it turned out, he didn't want to talk. He wanted to be romantic and loving and cute, etc. During our drive back home we hardly talked, but he kept on touching my leg, or holding my hand, trying to have loving gestures .... How long will it be until his next outburst? That was my only thought ....Well, it was as soon as we came home. He said I had a boyfriend, he said that maybe I'm the one that should move out, etc. And this continued through the weekend .... If he is so unhappy, why doesn't he go?
Anyway, thanks for listening ...

gab

[dexter]

It sounds like a nice gesture on his part... but if the argument and accusations began as soon as you got home does it seem like he planned on bringing that up all along? i.e. take you out for a nice evening and then make you feel guilty when you got home?

Again I'm just speculating as I don't see the actual situation... but it sounds like another method of just manipulating you. If so it is all part of ongoing abuse.

>> If he is so unhappy, why doesn't he go?

Maybe it has little to do with him being happy, but rather him having control over you. He keeps himself "unhappy" (or seemingly unhappy) to make you feel guilty. It may not be enough to have you there, he has to have you there and afraid to leave.

Don't let him pressure you into moving out. Move out if it seems to be the best thing for you to do for you. It is possible that he isn't really trying to pressure you to move out... only to make you feel guilty so that you will stay... if that is the case then if you moved out he might just move deeper into guilt, working even harder to make you feel guilty so that you will stay.

No matter what his intentions, don't let him decide what is best for you.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[shakes]

Gloria,
I am sorry that your date did not turn out as well as your hoped it would in chat. I also agree with Dex that it seems weird that he would bring up all the bad stuff once you got home.
When you say "How long will it be until his next outburst?" it makes me worry. No one deserves to be living in fear or apprehension of the next time they will be yelled at or when their loved one will "go off" on them. It seems maybe you should be considering leaving him. You seem very nice and deserve better then that.

Please stay strong and know that we are here for you.

Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>