Guilt that is torturing me

I feel guilty that I ended my relationship almost two years ago. I feel this guilt all the time, sometimes it goes away then it come back to hunt me.
I can't even tell anyone (or almost anyone) the reasons, it's not something people would expect or understand. And if I do tell, I'm just left in confusion and shock and I don't understand it. I don't really understand who I was then. Who I am now. I left thinking "now I know what I want" but then it all shifted and I am here, lost and confused.
And he is very hurt and even more shocked and hates me now for ruining his life. I have a lot of sui thoughts because of this guilt.

You can only work from this moment on. The past happened and will stay in the past. You were a different person then - forgive yourself and try to move forward. Guilt is a tough emotion to deal with.

I feel that we should have had some talks about that. It was all so sudden. But at that point I couldn't have done more. The words just didn't come out. It was impossible for us to talk then. Now I'm left with the feelings of an unfnished business. But it's locked now, I can't open it up again. I feel that whatever I'd say now, it doesn't matter. It's just so much pain locked inside us after this.

Living with this on your conscience is not good. Is there any way you could meet to offer an apology? Maybe if you explored, with a therapist, why you hurt this person it might help you to explain yourself to the injured party. Maybe you could apologize and tell them you are terribly sorry for all the things you did/said. Maybe it would help.

I didn't really do anything. It was just something I've realised and I was true for me at that time. But there were also other issues, in sense of being unhappy we just never talked about it. I tried to solve them...couldn't...
I feel guilty maybe because I've ended it and that it happened suddenly. I don't know.
Maybe there was nothing more to do then. I cannot really appologise forwhat I did, because I didn't do anything. Well, some small stuf but not the reason for the ending. Maybe for the circumstances. I feel guilty because he 's had expectations and I dissapointed him. But I had expectations too.
Yeah, I'll try to explore this with my T.

Good luck processing your emotions with your therapist. Maybe at some time you can sit down with him and get some closure. Being guilty over something in the past that you can't change is only making things worse. Please be gentle and forgiving of yourself.

You're being quite vague so I'm limited for types of responses to offer.

I think processing this in therapy might be your best option to deal with the guilt, and maybe send him an email or letter, saying what you could not say 2 years ago.

It might not provide the type of closure you crave, and you will probably have to create your own closure, but at least you will release the pent up expression that's been weighing on your psyche.

Whatever you say, may not matter to him but if it will help you get some closure, I think you should write...
Word carefully, but get it off your chest. He can either read it, or not. You can't control that part.

That's what I would do.

I would write, but I'm afraid it will hurt him more. Yeah, hard to talk about this in such vague terms but I can't share the details, unfortunately...
I will try bringing this up in therapy more, I already have, but I think I should definitely get back to it.
Thank you all.