On being the face you hate

I don't want to talk about how shi-tty my childhood was or anything right now, but I want to say that I've come to a place where I can't stand being surrounded by anything reminiscent of my father.

That being said, my big concern is when you cannot get rid of him completely because of his face, that face that hurt you so bad in the past is always with you... it's on you.

Have you ever experienced anything remotely similar to this? From simple manners to looking exactly like the person who hurt you, body or soul-like.

I just hate it. I hate that. I don't hate my father, though... not anymore at least, as things have been forgiven, but I'm not sure I love him either. I mean, I prefer to keep my distance, you know? He makes me feel uncomfortable.

lowpoint

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Are you seeing a therapist? This might be a good option. You're not alone.

I'm not. I will, though.

I once put on a hat of exactly (!) the same kind that my dad always wore, and when I looked in the mirror I looked so much like him that it was most unsettling. But I know that I'm part if my dad, and mom, and everyone else in my life so intellectually I don't have a problem with it. I never wore that hat again, though...

I have that exact problem. People think my mother/abuser and I are sisters, most of the time. It's sickening. For a long time it was hard for me to look in a mirror, but over time I have come to accept it.

How do you find this conciliation with yourself? It's something I've been asking myself since ever...

There are some things we can't control. I would drive myself insane (insaner?) if I couldn't accept the way I look.

I will say that I go out of my way to look different. I have developed my own style, changed my mannerisms and the way I speak - anything that reminds me of her.