I'm so lonely and ruin every relationship I get

I ruin every relationship I get in because of my MI.

I have a fear of being poisoned and other people are out to get me and it interferes with my ability to get close to others.

My first boyfriend was suicidal and I had to leave him, my second boyfriend was just in it for the sex and it felt empty, and my third boyfriend is diabetic and doesn't want to take medication for it and I think I'm going to break up with him because my mental illness is getting in the way with him too.

I believe now I'm one of those people that's just good for a screw, but I want something special.

I don't have any friends and I'm too Depressed to make friends.

It's true though that life is meant for two people to enjoy life together and I'm waiting for that other person but I feel like it's too late to enjoy a fulfilling life with someone else.

I don't think there is anyone out there for me that won't aggravate my MI.

I'm so depressed and tired of being rejected by other boyfriends families and friends and I'm just tired and feel used up.

I'm having a panic attack from missing them all... but I know they're not good for me.

I'm still in love and it hurts...

I don't know what to do...

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I don't have any advice. I just wanted to lend my support and to say I'm here if you need to talk. Can you talk to your therapist about this? What about a medication tweak to become more stable? There is someone out for you. Don't give up. Best wishes.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Just wanted to show my support and encouragement. You deserve to be happy, and someone who makes you happy.