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Last night I spent 4hrs restoring software for my step-mom. Instead of appreciation she was miffed I hadn't been able to load the latest. Newer must be better is her way of thinking. I tried to make her understand in this case the latest was actually worse but to no avail. Gee thanks. I walked an hour to get there and spend all evening bringing the android box back to life with all she and my father would use and I was met with disappointment and the attitude I had failed. I really was hurt.

[MickeyCheeky]

That was pretty ingrateful.. she sounds spoiled I'm sorry.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry your step-mom was so ungrateful after everything you did. My mom is particularly ungrateful as well. She even makes snide comments. Best wishes.

[divine1966]

My dad is the same way. Try not to let it bother you

[Crazy Hitch]

Yup.

I work with a colleague who is about as ungrateful as it gets.

We both teach Senior High School.

Whenever I put together resources for my class; I always share with her. We're talking like on a daily basis share everything with her. I feel like I'm carrying my class and hers - she does 0.

I know she used the resources / lesson plans etc etc etc - I've seen it.

But she never says thanks / acknowledges / replies to my emails.

Some people are just this way. I notice in the store where I work most customers are polite and thank us for our time (even if we don't have what they want, they thank us for trying) and others flat out do not. I'd say they are a minority but a significant one.

Ungrateful people are draining to be around. Meditation, relaxation is helpful after spending time around them (& possibly before).

[profound_betrayal]

justafriend306, you are too decent

I don't know what it is about ppl. like that, but it says so much more about them than you. Give yourself credit for being kind & trying to help.

I cannot imagine how you felt, but I suspect that you are NOT the first & won't be the last person, with whom they have that attitude. I don't know if its entitlement or what (??) but moving forward, you should have NO expectations.

If ever this happens again - Tell her "she's welcome" or make an excuse & stay away for a LONG time, so that they will get a sense of your VALUE. Or tell them that you realize that your efforts were inadequate not to their standards (to make them take ownership for their 'bad') and that you are sure (based on this), that you may be able to help - wish them luck WITH LOVE, be nice & move on. They will learn the hard way.

However, if you want to go in the way of peace & not do anything, (& too many nice ppl. do), then as I said have NO expectations to shield yourself from being hurt again.

Generally though, do try to save yourself for YOU & the ppl. who show YOU appreciation. We are all not without unlimited resources!! Some of us learn late after expending energy on the wrong ppl. & having none for ourselves when it gets critical ...

Feel better

[UppyDowny]

All of us experience this during our life. The difference between someone who is healthy and one who is not is the ability to learn from mistakes. A good questions is, do you continue to do favors for people who are obviously ungrateful or do you learn after the first time to hold back for your own mental health? I have done the former. In learning to respect and love myself, I now am able to say NO to things or to ask more questions before plunging in. An animal will usually not go back to it's abuser unless it has no other choice. Make options for yourself and decide you are worth it. What makes you desire that everyone approve of you? Are they really? Or are they using you because you're the only one who will bow down to them. Next time, provide them with options. " Oh mom, I'm so sorry but I can't help you with that (don't explain why. You're a grown-up and it's your business). I can't help at this time, but why don't you call this repairman, I hear he's good." Something like that. You don't have to people please to have a full life. So what if you say no? Will they dump you? Why are you afraid to have someone dump you? Are they truly a friend if they do that? If a family member disowns you because you don't want to fix their water heater for free, maybe they're a narcissist. You're not going to change them. You have to learn to take care of yourself FIRST. Do it once. Then never again if they brush you off or are abusive. Get some therapy to help you. I know it will help. Hugs.

[tryingtobeconstruct]

Ungratefulness was a major reason I ended our marriage. The last straw was when I went to considerable effort to take her on a trip she wanted for her birthday. Not only didn't she ever say thank you, she complained about it to me and to others. I had really put a lot of love into giving her what she wanted and I felt so uncared for. That's not how a marriage should work.

[profound_betrayal]

[QUOTE=profound_betrayal;5693680]justafriend306, you are too decent

Typo - meant 'NOT' , below

If ever this happens again .... Or tell them that you realize that your efforts were inadequate not to their standards (to make them take ownership for their 'bad') and that you are sure (based on this), that you may NOT be able to help - wish them luck WITH LOVE, be nice & move on. [U]They will learn the hard way. [/U