Bipolarized

Hi, I'm HopeYazzie. I ve been married to the girl of my dreams for 11 years now but have been together for 18 years all together. Just at the cusp of becoming teachers three years ago, our troubles began. My wife, over the internet began an emotional affair with her ex from high school. Since he became a friend and included me i was fine with everything until I found out they were talking secretly and she lied to me that they were. Their "friendship" continued despite my argument that they shouldn't. In fact she made me feel guilty and used what trust I use to have against me by say what happened to you, you use to be so trusting. I would back off thinking and feelings stupid. From that point on my insecurititissue and jealousy took my life over every time she got on the Internet or her phone. Things got better here and there but I noticed little things that aroused my suspicions. For example, the home computer is the base for 2 of our phones, hers and mine. The first thing was when I found a map history of a particular time when she went by herself to Phoenix and on the way back, she stopped at the mall with my son and hung out with him for 17 minutes according to the app. Then it shows that she was in a lingerie store for 45 minutes and then went out the mall and walked the opposite way from where she parked to get picked up and went to a place for 45 minutes and came back. When I showed her she was very upset and anxious to explain to me. She said that she was in Dillard's and some other stores but I didn't believe her story. She seems overprotective of her phone sometimes to where she would be surprised if show up and several times I asked to use the phone during those times and she would get really nervous. Another time I found the iPad she always uses and found women seeking men frof Craigslist along with pornography. The reason these make me very cautious is because she was diagnosed bipolar and during manice episodes I believe she cheaTed. Anytime I confront her we've gotten into the biggest fights ever where she would take off overnight. The little things that makes me nervous has happened too many times. ThinGS have gotten better now but I'm afraid when she's in her manic period is what worries me. I plan to talk to her about it but I'm afraid for the kids because of the fights we have hurts everyone. I can't do this for very long because I'm about to reach my end. I still love her but she thinks I should just let it go and just love her. That doesn't work for me because I use to love the trust I had for her and I don't feel like she needs me hovering over her for the rest of our lives. Please, I need help. This is only a partial of our problems but for nowhat this is the biggest issue for us.

You seem to be almost stalking her every movement around.

I mean, seriously? You're tracking exactly what stores she went into in a mall? Seriously?

On the other hand, if she is manic and you have hard core evidence of it, then you should seek couple's counselling to address it. I know you said she had a relationship with her ex - how do you know it was an emotional affair? Did she tell you it was an emotional affair? Or did you just dub it on your own as an emotional affair?

As for the pornography on the iPad. Nope. Harmless. Doesn't mean she's cheating.

As for the Craiglist. Well yes. That's the only one I'd say look into.

Does she take medication to control her manic episodes? How often does she have them? It really sounds like you both could benefit from couples counseling.