First big fight in a 10 year friendship...now what?

Yeah, it's a mystery to me what that statement could mean.

AA and Al-anon have a saying: "Don't go around taking other people's inventory. Worry about controling your own faults and improving yourself."

Here's a link that might have a few ideas for you to think about.

Taking Another's Inventory

My boyfriend had a drinking problem years ago. I decided to "help" him manage it and to help him get into recovery and to help him avoid backsliding. I'm so glad I that I learned from Al-anon that I was all wrong in my thinking. I was determined that I was going to help my boyfriend get his act together and keep it together . . . all because I cared about him so much and was not going to give up on him.

Well he only began to overcome his drinking problem when I finally gave up monitoring his behavior and trying to fix him. Now he's 20 years sober, and I've learned a thing or two about tending to my own affairs and not trying to mind other people's business, especially when I would have thought I was doing so out of love. People have a right to make there own mistakes, screw up their own lives and sort it all out without me trying to tell them how to run their show.

It's seldom good to go giving people unsolicited advice. And they'll usually resent it when you do.

in your case it sounds like you thought it was solicited advice since you said he wanted you to keep him accountable......but EVEN solicited advice isn't a good idea & they usually resent that too.

Just a heads up...we're all good. Talked things out. Giving each other space, but we're gonna be okay.
Thank you all for the advice.