[AHeartOfRuby]

Hi all.. this is a hard topic for me to just discuss with you guys. My family is abusive. Not physically but emotionally... my mom is always in a bad mood I don't know if it's depression or that's just how she is but in her moods she tends to tell her family they are useless. I can't ask her for anything or talk to her about anything I just sit pretty smile and nod. My father's had more girlfriends than I can count each one as toxic as the last. He's never really been a dad to me he tends to tell me he only loves me because it's his job. Well lately life has been especially rough when it comes to my parents and my self esteem and to be honest with you guys.. I miss what it felt like to be loved. I've had a couple relationships but they were all abusive the only thing is like any toxic relationship on the good days they made me feel loved and i miss it...

[Sunflower123]

I encourage you to get into therapy to try to get rid of the some of the damage your parents have done and to break the cycle for your own romantic relationships. You can build a "family" with good friends and other important people in your life. You can build a family that loves and appreciates you. Your parents sound toxic to you. Best wishes.

[treevoice]

I agree with Jennifer that it would probably be a good idea to seek some therapy. The unfortunate truth is most of us who grew up in toxic households tend to cultivate toxic relationships of our own. It can be hard to recognize a good thing when you find it, if you don't know what it looks like/feels like. I hope you can find peace in the knowing that nothing is permanent, you don't have to stay there forever, and you don't have to repeat the cycles of abuse in order to feel that loved feeling again someday. You can start by cultivating that love in yourself for yourself, and - at your own pace - begin to expand that love into a little world all your own. Wishing you love and luck. <3