I have a male friend i know 20 years. we would go for coffee and for a drink. Last year he said i was emailing him too much so i stopped

now if i text for coffe he will be mostly busy or not replky at all if he is not going. i think he is too tight to spend the text if not going. he then expects me to be available when it suits him

now he has a girlfriend i am not jealous or anything. but he now seems to
1 put being with her first
2 expect me to be free wehn it suits him
1 is ok. 2 annoys me. he seems to do all the running and make all the rules. he won't go for a drink with me - doesn't drink he says- but he does drink when its her. he goes for drink with her

I did not respond at all to last texts so he sees what it is like if someone does not respond. I think he wanted me to go for coffee and ask me to go somewhere else with both of them and be a free taxi for him and her. I have a reason to think that

I am vey straight up nad not manipulative. Some people are very manipulative- see my first thread here. I do not see it as i would not do it

I do not want to be used as a taxi. or as anything. I found out recently when i needed a friend that people i had helped freely did not want to know. so i dropped them. i am thinking of dropping him but don't have may other friends.

On principle i would not let someone take advantage of me

[Sunflower123]

It doesn't seem like an equal give or take. Could you talk to him before you think of ending it? Good luck and best wishes.

[Crazy Hitch]

Have you spoken to him straight up about how you feel? Thing is, his "social schedule" would likely have changed quite a bit now that he has a girlfriend, and would put her first before accepting other invites to go out. But it's the degree to which he continuously does it that doesn't make it right.

By playing his game, you're pretty much guaranteed to end the relationship.

I'd have a chat with him first.

Some people can remain really good friends catching up ever so once in a while. Maybe he doesn't feel the need to catch up as often.

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

Have you spoken to him straight up about how you feel? Thing is, his "social schedule" would likely have changed quite a bit now that he has a girlfriend, and would put her first before accepting other invites to go out. But it's the degree to which he continuously does it that doesn't make it right.

By playing his game, you're pretty much guaranteed to end the relationship.

I'd have a chat with him first.

Some people can remain really good friends catching up ever so once in a while. Maybe he doesn't feel the need to catch up as often.

his social schedule was changing long before she came along. i like her and am happy for them

Some people can remain really good friends catching up ever so once in a while. Maybe he doesn't feel the need to catch up as often

well i need more out of our friendship

I am very wary now and have changed a lot in the last few months. I was sick needed a friend no one wanted to know. There was one person always running to me to do work for her. i did it free for a 'friend' but she did not want to know when i was sick. Now i am better and am reevaluating. she is gone. no more free work

I have a suspicion, based on previous experience, he is very clever and wants to work thing so he will ask me to go for coffee and then at coffee to ask me to go other places because he wants to bring her. Free taxi. I then wonder if i am eing paranoid but as i say my suspicion is based on previous experience. people who call themselves friends are very clever sometimes. I am not and would not manipulate or use someone

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by LonelyMan

his social schedule was changing long before she came along. i like her and am happy for them

Okay that sucks.

You can take the risk of waiting til he makes contact with you ....

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

It doesn't seem like an equal give or take. .

thats what i mean. glad someone other than me could see it

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

You can take the risk of waiting til he makes contact with you ....

he did yesterday and i did not reply so he sent another to ask if i had got the first which i also ignored. i am really sick of this. the amount of times he would not bother to even respond to me really annoys me. i think he is too mean to spend the text if there is nothiong in it

ioften said in the past, on a saturday "i may go to ******* tomorrow " which he would want to go he would be texting me on sunday before i was out of bed to know if i was going. And never any offer of sharing fuel would but me a burger at the destination.

in the interest of fairness i should say i also asked him to stop emailing me about a certain subject he was obsessed with and i was not interested in and he did

I am always fair with people too fair i think. But i am changing a lot sice i was sick and saw what a so called friend thought of me