[continuosly blue]

Just a simple question: What do you do with family members who just focus on one argument versus 100 acts of kindness, giving , and understanding ? In other words , 99% of the time there were no arguments. There was civility. There was accommodation of THEIR wants and needs. But if I bring up something they don't agree with all of the good is forgotten and all I get is how difficult I am.
I feel totally disrespected and used. My views are ignored or tossed aside.
I'm always the one who is wrong. Guess I'm not getting with the program.
I can't question anything ! I'm getting very tired of living like this.

[Maven]

I don't know what to tell you. I feel the same way much of the time. I'm sorry you get treated like this.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you are being treated unfairly. Can you sit down with them and have a heart to heart conversation and tell them what you've posted here? Best wishes.

[divine1966]

Sorry you are struggling. Sounds unfair. Limit your interactions with such people. Or stop seeing them at all.

[continuosly blue]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I'm sorry you are being treated unfairly. Can you sit down with them and have a heart to heart conversation and tell them what you've posted here? Best wishes.

I wish I could ! They , ( 2 out of 3 ) , won't talk to me at all. They are acting like children. The other one , my SO , so to speak , shuts me down immediately. She's also very good at passive aggressive techniques.
I can't explain what happened in detail , but I can say that I exhibited enormous restraint. I offered to attend family counseling with all of them but have been turned down. I guess it's time to face reality and understand what needs to be done. This is all very emotionally draining.

Thanks.....

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by continuosly blue

I wish I could ! They , ( 2 out of 3 ) , won't talk to me at all. They are acting like children. The other one , my SO , so to speak , shuts me down immediately. She's also very good at passive aggressive techniques.u
I can't explain what happened in detail , but I can say that I exhibited enormous restraint. I offered to attend family counseling with all of them but have been turned down. I guess it's time to face reality and understand what needs to be done. This is all very emotionally draining.

Thanks.....

We'll sometimes we are obligated to kind of stick around if it's elderly relative or if we can't completely cut ties (have to see parents or kids etc). There is no obligation to stick around with mean and rude SO. No need to ever see or talk to them. You could be done with them forever

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by continuosly blue

Just a simple question: What do you do with family members who just focus on one argument versus 100 acts of kindness, giving , and understanding ? In other words , 99% of the time there were no arguments. There was civility. There was accommodation of THEIR wants and needs. But if I bring up something they don't agree with all of the good is forgotten and all I get is how difficult I am.
I feel totally disrespected and used. My views are ignored or tossed aside.
I'm always the one who is wrong. Guess I'm not getting with the program.
I can't question anything ! I'm getting very tired of living like this.

I get treated the same way. Hate to say it, but I am not myself around my family. In fact, I am more myself around friends than my family. I don't know how I would approach it. For me, I plan on distancing myself from my family once I move out. You don't have to do it but it could seem like the only option.

Continuously Blue, I can definitely relate to what you just mentioned in your post.

[~Christina]

No advise other that was has been offered but just know in your head that YOU and Your feelings DO matter.. Be kind to yourself