Why do they call Facebook a social networking website?

I'm curious as to why I get blocked by people a lot on Facebook who I maybe met once through work related stuff, and they block me if I message them or send a friend request, yet I'm sure as heck certain they don't block other associates who add them. Each time it happens, it's usually because they play the, "I don't know you..." card. Seriously! Is that not a bit anti-social sounding in itself? How is anybody supposed to get to know me if they don't try? But oh wait - they don't want to know I exist either way. Because I mean, I just messaged a person being nice, and I'm nice in many of my messages I send to people. Well, if they truly didn't desire contact from me, could they not just politely say so? I often send one message and I get blocked right away. Are they paranoid it will be habitual or threatening?

This is what I consider to be an empathetic human being using Facebook...

"Oh, I'm sorry, but I don't want to add non friends as I like to keep my Facebook account, just for contacting people I know. I hope you don't mind. And I wish you well."

That is being to the point, but also nicely put across. If you persisted and that became unpleasant, then that's different. People who hit that block button over nothing major though, are just power tripping bullies. It's not going to hurt for people who don't want to know you just to keep it civilized. Yet that never occurs with me, because they make it obvious that they hate my guts by outright banning me on sight. Then I get angry over being rejected, and my self-esteem disappears again. I'm close to suffering a nervous breakdown, I'm sure. This has went on for most of my life, too.

I know nobody has to let you message them or add them as a contact on any website, or even in "real life" groups as well. But when people just act outright smarmy over nothing and block me, that tends to offend me deeply. Because as it is, I'm branded as a huge loser by most people I meet anyway. But sadly, I don't have friends other than this older guy and I feel misunderstood, and like I'm only in this world to be a punching bag. Well, I know I'm intelligent, but I also happen to be vastly unattractive. Maybe that's why I get blocked. People have their very pompous and plaintive perception of what a person should be like in their eyes, and so anyone not cool or classed as being 'in their league' ain't allowed to probe.

Honestly; I messaged one person yesterday to ask why I didn't get a copy of a film I pledged cash to make, because that was in the perk. I was not being demanding, nor rude. All I wanted was an update. In fact, the person is Australian, so I said I like Cold Chisel to be nice, after she replied. Blocked!

So I made a temporary account to ask her why I was blocked. She just spun a yarn about that being her "private account" and she didn't seem to like me asking her a simple question. Seriously! It's not private at all. You can sign in and see the stuff she posts, and she's not even the first person who has treated me like garbage on Facebook. It's probably a case of her egotism versus my loser status, like I said. Haven't I talked quite a bit in the past about how people seem to behave like a porcupine got jammed up their arse when you're only trying to be a nice person online?

I personally avoid becoming facebook friends with anyone who I work with, or who I don't know personally in some way. I don't block them, but I don't accept their friend requests either.

Facebook can be a horrid place. I'm only still a member because I am involved with a few businesses that have facebook pages and for my area, it is often the best way to stay in tune with severe weather.

The new Facebook search system appears to be very bad. Well, I just use Facebook these days to look at what the film groups are planning. I don't want to sound repetitive, but you know I don't enjoy being slandered by people. Facebook is notorious for that type of crap. I've only rejoined Facebook to look at film groups for gaining potential work, but I always run the risk of getting blocked at least once if someone doesn't want contacted and I do so. That's it.

If I added anyone from this place for autistic people, I tried to be discreet about it. Then other people would see I returned and send me friend requests, and do nothing but spam me with irrelevant polls, an invitation to play Candy Crush Saga and just ask me questions to satisfy their curiosity, yet I don't really see any of them any longer, so why are they my friends? I've also had odd accounts trying to befriend me. They seem like bots, or just foreigners adding random people.

Is it possible that they see you as the thing you hate? You also add people you don't know and try to converse with them.

I used LinkedIn for work and often add people I don't know directly. But I use FB for friends and family only, and just add people I know well. How about you have a look at creating a LinkedIn profile?

I think Facebook isn't for you.

You must be writing something that is making so many people want to block you. Maybe you write strangely long messages or something you say is discomforting.

I get lots of friend requests from people I don't know and I just ignore them. Partly, it's because I am scared these people are secretly hackers or terrorists.

Myself and most people I know don't really like people they don't know adding them and trying to talk to them. There's so many spammers and account hijackers out there why not protect yourself and your account from adding literally anyone. If people I have never met before cold request me they usually get blocked. Why? They are not friends and they are not family. They are unknown parties with unknown intentions and I honestly have no time for people who send requests without ever talking to me. Want to be my friend? Talk to me first, you know, like I'm a person. If someone doesn't they either rot in the place between accept and reject or are blocked.

most if not all people who work like to keep their job and home and leisure activities separated. some work laces, agencies, groups, have rules that dictate whether the employees or participants can "friend" each other outside of the job or group....

think of it like here... would you like one of your outside of psych central friends and family to suddenly show up here on psych central and send you a friend request...

my job has rules about things like blogs and internet social networking places like facebook. my work has a facebook account for employees for work related issues. I have a separate facebook account for my friends and family, and another one for gaming due to the games you need to sometimes add people that you dont know to the games as "neighbors" in order to accomplish the gaming tasks/goals/....I dont want to have just any jane and john doe on my regular friends and family, post my daily life kind of facebook account, thats just inviting trouble to mix strangers/ possible stalkers or other disreputable folks into knowing my daily routines and daily life... I also have a work related facebook account that is protected (closed group style) account. this way there is no conflict of interest, confidentiality issues,

my point is your co workers may be blocking you because they want to keep work and home life separate. they dont want their co workers to be in their personal life, knowing every little thing about them.. just like you would not most likely like all your co workers to come read your posts here on psych central .... huge conflict of interest and breach of your rights to be here with out your co workers finding you and friending you here.

Fair enough, you guys. I can see why some people wouldn't want to divulge all the ins and outs of what they do each day for the whole world to see. I'm not really interested in knowing about that stuff anyway. Of course, they wouldn't know that.

I just think it sort of defeats the purpose of what that site is aimed at, doesn't it? It's a "social network" site for being social, so if you got blocked and picked on by everybody that uses it, that is not going to achieve your goal of finding new friends. Although I must say, Facebook isn't always the best way to go about doing that. This is why you can use alternative things like Meetup. Sadly, I don't have the courage to do that regardless of how often I've suggested it to other people. I'm sure these tossers can smell a loner a mile away. Maybe what you say is valid. Maybe they just care about their privacy, or maybe they really are just arrogant. Well, I suppose in either case, there's no certain way of knowing (unless they start firing insults your way, than I'd say you would know it's on purpose).

To be honest, I think the Internet is overrated. People are so glued to their screens now that I think it's made the population turn obnoxious. 30 years ago, nobody even had instant access to Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Tagged, Blogger, Wikipedia, Outlook, Friends Reunited, and all these other similar sites. YouTube I like, because it should be educational. However, to arrange a get together in the eighties for example, you had to have the phone numbers of your mates, and you couldn't even send text messages, because that too came later. Now it's so easy to digitally store your friends, and get rid of them like an old pair of shoes when their usefulness is no more. It's just a way of giving someone the cold shoulder in virtual terms, because it's simple to do so. I'll never fathom why some humans are so mean-spirited like this.

You are right. I'm an 80's gal. Nobody ever got blocked. Nobody ever watched their friends do things without them on social media.

I know you are genuinely looking for friendship. You deserve to find a friend, and I hope you do.

Honestly, Peter...I have never thought Facebook was for social "networking," even though it has come to be described as that sometimes. I hear/read "social media" mainly, though. That's different from social networking, I think.

Here's how I think of Facebook (not that I really use it, I just have an account that collects dust):

Primarily, I went to school with you, and I add you or you add me so we can keep up with each other. If we didn't go to school together, then, whether it's from work or whatever, we consider each other friends somehow. Other than that, I don't want you sending me a friend request. To me, Facebook is for friends and classmates. I realize some people take it beyond that, and I think that's mainly because they want a large friends list in order to look like they know a lot of people. I think that misleads other people about what Facebook is to a lot of people--it's not just "add whomever you darn well want to add." I'm sure I think the way I do about Facebook because I first signed up way back when it really was more so about students (you had to join with a university email account) and adding people you went to school with or currently attend school with, but now I just think people are so confused about how you use Facebook. "Facebook" is a play on the word "yearbook."

To me, LinkedIn is where you add people you don't know but might want to network with, so almost everyone I'm connected with on LinkedIn is someone I don't even know but we work in the same field or they're a recruiter or something along those lines.

Something I notice over and over about men--and I don't know how other women feel about it, so just speaking for myself--is I see you all express that it's better to come out and directly tell someone you don't want XYZ with them, i.e. "I don't want to be Facebook friends" or "I don't want to go out with you." Personally, I can't understand that, and I don't think it's nice and don't feel comfortable doing that. I'm not saying I would block someone on Facebook whose friend request I don't want to accept, but ignore them? Absolutely. I do ignore them. Is that nicer than saying "I don't want..."? I don't know...but I feel like the message is just as clear without having to directly reject someone and that you should just get the message (which, I feel like direct rejection is the most painful, personally, which is why I don't do it to other people). I feel the same way about dating and telling guys I don't want to go out with them, and I feel the same way about employers not sending emails letting us know they're not going to hire us. :\

So, I don't know how much of what I'm saying has to do with people actively blocking you, especially since I'd just ignore you vs blocking you.

The site is a social MEDIA site, not a networking site. You post whatever it is you want to share with friends and family. Pictures, video, words....you share your media with others you trust.

If you want a networking site, I'd suggest LinkedIn. That's where you can network, build business connections, what have you.

You want social networking? Walk out your door and talk to whomever you feel like talking to. THAT'S social networking. Face to face interaction.

Side note: nobody really does much on LinkedIn. I've muddied my personal facebook now by friending everybody I do business with. It's actually nice to know them more personally.

OP- if you are getting blocked, you must be doing something more that makes lots of people very uncomfortable

No. I basically just asked her if she knew when the film was coming out, as it had been months since I heard anything about it, and in the perk I purchased, I was meant to get a poster and a DVD. But I wasn't messaging her, making demands. She then had a go at me for contacting her there after I asked her why she blocked me, but I didn't know how to contact her otherwise. Most people would have just politely answered me and that was all. I'm sure she has other people as friends on there from films, but it's very hard nowadays to meet people and get them to take to me as a person. Just seems like backbiting.

Ummmm this post jumped out at me.....depends upon your definition of blocked. sure there wasnt much of computers and internet in the 80's so in that sense of course people didnt internet wise "block" each other but in real life people do "block" each other.... my siblings tell stories about how in school the kids had their "clicks" and if you were not the in crowd you were not talked to, did not get invited to parties, sometimes got bullied. when it was time for me to go to school I discovered they were right if someone didnt want to be friends with you they didnt accept you. talk to you, invite you to play with them, walked away when you tried to be around them, in high school there were those "clicks" the sports people accepted and hung out with sports people, the cheerleaders accepted and hung out with the cheer leaders, the chorus / band people hung out together, the "gifted and talented" hung out together. even in working as an adult if you look around and pay attention you will hear the gossip of which co workers likes and doesnt like that co worker and wont have anything to do with that one, and this one kisses up to the boss and that one has their favorites... if you read historical non fiction you will find "blocking" (not being friends with this one or that one, bullying, or not accepting someone) has been happening even way back in the cave man times there's archaeology evidence of this one was not part of the nearby cave and had this or that wound that pointed to the cave took matters in their own hands against that one...

my point.... blocking does happen whether its on the internet or not since the dawn of man and animals. we just dont always "see" it or recognize it for what it is.

bottom line is there is no hard written in stone rule that says people have to accept each other and be friends with everyone they meet. this includes on the internet and co workers.

OP, are you aware that the fact that you create fake accounts / profiles after being blocked is probably, very likely, certainly, most definitely freaking these people out?

And that's probably what's behind at least some of the hostility...

Also, FB is more for keeping friends, making them happens offline though, you may want to try it.

The proof is in the wording "Add Friend" (to friends list)... Not "start friendship"...

Yes, I literally meant blocked, like blocked on social media.

True, there have always been cliques and bullies.

If there was social media when I was a teen, and I saw my friends posting about their great times, that I was not included in, I'd be really upset. At least in the 80's, if friends had a blast while excluding me, at least, I didn't have it thrown in my face.

No offense to women, but do some guys think 80's women were hotter than women now? Each decade has differing opinions. Maybe I live in the past too much.

Perhaps they suspect you have mental illness and are scared of you or something....if it happens often, this is what I suspect is happening but of course I don't know for sure. I used to accept everyone who friended me and it landed me in enormous trouble so I respect a persons wishes to block people now. I don't tend to like the kind of people who block people for no reason and think it's a controlling power trippy thing to do too, but at least they are smart enough to avoid the mistakes I made so I really shouldn't judge. I like people who are very kind, open and warm hearted as a rule but these kind of people get trampled on so we don't get to see them much....they are probably at home hiding in their closets.

I don't seem to gel with women at all. Even sex workers have mistreated me, and I don't know about you, but who wants to pay £150 or more to an escort if you cannot get it up? Half of them abused me from the minute I walked in the door. They had a very monotone (cold) attitude. Very icy, actually. It was like, take your clothes off, shower, do the business, then bugger off, mate. Seriously! They looked at me like they wanted to kick the living daylights out of me. I'm sure they wouldn't be shy about doing it either.

I met someone through Gumtree after I arranged to meet her in person once, with a support worker present. I'm really nervous when it comes to meeting people for the first time, but this is natural even for "normal" people. My mouth goes dry and I stutter, or feel anxious. She probably felt nervous as well.

She said she thought she has bipolar. This had nothing to do with dating. It was just a friendly encounter. She brought another guy with her too, and we played pool. At the weekend, the three of us tried to find a place to play pool again, but everywhere was busy. As we walked back up the road, I was a bit quiet, so I just started talking about my taste in music since I didn't know what else to say. Being young pups, I guess that totally bored them. Then I got text messages from this lassie and that other guy saying they didn't like me because I never stopped talking, and they were going on about how we didn't click. Maybe my conversation skills are very poor, but there was no need to treat me like garbage. Even if you do meet nice girls you would love to go out with, they are always taken, they are gay, they just want to be friends, or they are just in town temporarily. It's very annoying for single men. Smaller cities must be worse and more lonesome. Also, that means there's more of a chance of encountering gossipers too. It happened to me when I went to the Isle of Arran once with my family, for a vacation. This bus driver hurried us up and I said something because it was stupid of him to make us hurry when we had heavy luggage. My relative in the post office even knew about that.

Speaking of treating people like garbage. The only girl I ever really was in a "relationship" with was this cow I met back in 2005 when I was doing a course in college. We never saw each other for over 6 years after we briefly dated. I'm sure she knew I was looking for her for such a long time, too. What followed was a hell of a time. She got me to by her an iPod, on credit. She bullied me and got lots of money and gifts from me, and lots of free food. The ungrateful witch also lied to me a lot, and was probably seeing this other guy the whole time. When I saw her on and off after all the carry on, she was sometimes okay, but mostly acting bipolar.

To be honest, I keep thinking it will always be this way. I know people say that you will find someone when you stop looking. Yeah, right. I've more of a chance of springs flying out of my keyboard, truth be told.

ummm did I miss something here.... the thread is about facebook. its a website where people can connect with their friends and family, co workers ....add each other to their friends list on their facebook page, play games together, keep each other up to date on each other's daily activities, and if you dont want to "friend " your friends and family and co workers you can not accept their friend request or if they repeatedly send you request make it so that they cant anymore by "blocking" their requests.

question.... is gumtree your facebook page? Im confused by your post because the thread is about the website facebook where friends, family and co workers can keep in touch with each other. how has your seeing sex workers and their mistreating you have anything to do with facebook?

wondering if you might have posted this and your other post in this thread in the wrong place?

Peter, I hope you're not using Facebook to find sex workers....or people who'd want casual sex...

No. It's this sex work site where you can look up people for sex you have to pay for, whether it's an out call or an in call. I'd never waste my time browsing Facebook for that, as it will never happen. I've also recently noticed that the new Facebook search system sucks.

Seriously, until a few weeks ago, it was fine. If it's not broken, there's no need to fix it. In general though, I'm not overly fond of Facebook. Nowadays, I guess it's maybe useful to register with Facebook, perhaps. Everyone connects via the Internet now, so it's handy as you can chat in real time. Other than that, you have to put up with all these tossers being assholes.

I don't look down on sex workers. I understand they are people too. But if you're paying a woman a lot of your money, regardless of how the cash is obtained, then if she treats you like gutter trash, I'd say it's very disheartening. Even for people with thick skin, nobody deserves to be subjected to abuse. I'd also not be surprised if a sex worker's aggression is linked to drug abuse, or someone is forcing them into this seedy business.