[olivia94]

My best friend and I are no longer friends,
because I was late for an appointment
at her house for 35min.

She said she doesn't want me as her friend
anymore because I did not respect her time.

Our friendship was so close and tight as she would
ALWAYS INVITE TO ALL HER ACTIVITIES.

She would tell me everything in her life, that she said she has
not ever opened up to anyone before other than myself

She is a warn genuinely kind thoughtful friend, and she
called me her best friend and told me she has only ever invited me to her house.
She said I'm her closest friend whom she is able to be truthful with about her mental illness and medications. She is on 300mg venlafaxine.

She treated me to many desserts and food, and would talk to me everyday for many hours. We did everything together.

Yet when I was 35min late to turn up for her appointment, she had chosen to end our friendship, citing non respect of her time.
This is the first time I was late for such a long time.
I helped to do housework at her home, throwing the thrash out, washing and cleaning. She also bring me out very often in her car.

I am in so much pain that she cited lateness, as the breaking point of our friendship.

[Bill3]

That sounds very harsh. Everyone is late once in a while.

If she has mental health issues I wonder if her reaction is more to do with her own stresses than your being late.

This post is not intended to cause offence, it's obviously just my view, I feel your pain, and sadly, feel I can relate. It's unnecessary to go into detail, but, my oldest friend and I now don't speak. You don't deserve to be so harshly treated, but, this is what people with m/h issues can do, turn their unreasonable behaviour around, so that everything is your fault. It is wrong and unfortunately, depression brings out the very worst in a person. This maybe not what you think at all, I can only add, if you feel you deserve better....chances are you probably do.

Good luck, take no crap and take care of you x

[olivia94]

Big thanks and received comforting words and hug from 3 of you who replied.
My best friend's medication of 300mg venlafaxine, how serious and how bad has her depression reached? is it already at the extreme stage of major depression?

our friendship is more than that, more than 35min of my tardiness.
i dedicated myself to the friendship, i was always there when she needed me.
this is the first time i wasnt there when she needed me

[olivia94]

is 300mg venlafaxine a really really heavy! and serious! drug dosage?

[olivia94]

is my friend being on 300mg venlafaxine a major serious heavy alarming medication ?

I hope she isn't suicidal because it's entirely possible that she could be pushing you away so she can off herself. It is also possible that those medicines could be altering her judgement because many medicines cause people to do seemingly irrational things.

Regardless of the reasons behind her behavior, I would confront her. I would go over to her house and refuse to leave until she gave me an explanation. Either she is at risk to herself or she is being incredibly selfish. You deserve answers and if she is a threat to herself, she may need your help.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time with your best friend. Is there any possibility this could be anything besides you showing up late? I would give her time to reflect on it and then reach out to her for an explanation. Good luck and best wishes.

I can't comment on her meds, and it's not possible to say what exactly her mental state is. It must be very upsetting and worrisome for you.

I would give her space but if you feel you would like to reach out in a while then do that, she may well calm down and rethink.

[eskielover]

I had a good friend (not best friend) who likes ballroom dancing. She always wants to go somewhere with someone....so when I invited her to come to my ballroom dance class new years party she wanted to go but wanted to meet & she would drive. She was there for a short while & decided she wanted to leave, leaving it so I either had to leave early with her or find another ride back to my truck & inconvenience someone from my dance class. Sweet people from my class offered to take me to my truck after the dance was over so I stayed.

Several months later she told me about this swing dance going on all afternoon at a park in a neighboring town. I had errands I needed to get done that day but told her I would meet her & go with her after I was done.....like we couldn't have met there??? So I got done with my errands which would have put us 45 minutes late arriving at an activity that was going on all afternoon. She got mad that she would be that late. I said....go without me....doesn't bother me. After thinking back to that new years eve dance & how I could have been angry about what she did to me & a day trip we made together to a home show event that was less than plesant dealing with her impatience & attitudes about situations we encountered, I realized in reality it was much better to keep her at an acquaintance level.....several others from our horse group have realized the same thing.

I think as we do get to really know people we realize their true colors. Honestly you might be better off not having someone like that as your best friend if that is the personality she is going to be with you. Let time pass & see how things go but be on guard if she does come back & want to resume the friendship as it was.

Meds or no meds....the way someone treats you still comes from what is within them.

[olivia94]

my bestfriend bit my arm after i confronted her at her home, on why she had been avoiding me and what exactly did i do wrongly that i deserve to be condemned and kicked out from her life? facing her rejection and outright removal of me from her life due to an incident of me being late for an appointment?
even after i was late for the appointment, i still stayed on for the entire time to offer help with my extra pair of hands to assist in some manual work for her.

after biting my arm twice and refusing to talk to me and tell me what happened and why does she think i deserve the removal? she continues to stay silent.
no explanation. she only said she wanted to have peace at home for the time being. she needed a break and wants to be alone for extended period of time (been 3 full weeks since)

[healingme4me]

Did she literally bite your arm? Or is that an expression of speech?

[olivia94]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Did she literally bite your arm? Or is that an expression of speech?

Yes she did literally bit my arm twice in a span of 5seconds

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by olivia94

Yes she did literally bit my arm twice in a span of 5seconds

Wow

She turned violent. Is this the type of friendship worth missing?

Sorry I didn't realise she had also been violent and aggressive towards you. This is not a usual symptom of depression, it sounds like she has very complex issues.

I guess it's a decision you have to make regarding how close you will let this person come to you in future.

Above all else take good care of yourself.

[rdgrad15]

I'm sorry that happened to you. I can relate since I had a friend do the same thing to me. She blamed me for everything because she was depressed and almost caused the friendship to end. In fact, even though we still hang out at times, I definitely don't feel very close to her due to how she treated me. I agree with other posters that she acted out due to her depression and the fact that she suddenly got violent makes me wonder if she is bi-polar or if she has another issue that you are not aware of. Hugs to you.

[Quarter life]

I appreciate that often unforeseen circumstances can cause a person to be late. I don't mind so much, as long as the person contacts me in a timely manner and lets me know that they are dragging their feet. Otherwise I am left swanning about waiting, which can cause me stress.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Quarter life

I appreciate that often unforeseen circumstances can cause a person to be late. I don't mind so much, as long as the person contacts me in a timely manner and lets me know that they are dragging their feet. Otherwise I am left swanning about waiting, which can cause me stress.

Same with me.

[olivia94]

my friend is busy doing some puppies rescue work, for some time, 3months plus. could it be the reason why she is overstretched and thus overly exhausted to keep any friends by her side?

I think you are being generous to her. Yes she may be busy but if she bit you she owes you a very big apology.

You deserve to be treated with respect. Mental illness may be a reason behind bad behaviour but it should not be used as an excuse for abuse of a friend.

[olivia94]

my friend is going thru divorce i guess.
she has mentioned it quite a few times before
her husband has been in talks with the lawyer for sometime
they had planned n discussed divorce before for sometime

would it mean she had suddenly changed her attitude towards me so drastically
due to her divorce proceedings?

it is very highly possible