[DP_2017]

Yesterday in therapy, I was admitting some of my jealousy issues about the other clients and he asked me if I often fear being replaced? I never though of it like that but it makes sense so I was like, yes! it happens to me often....

He wrote a note for next time as we were ending but I got home and begin thinking how true this really is....

A few examples... my former best friend "replaced" me with the guy she married, they ended up doing everything we used to do when they dated and our friendship died.

a guy I used to be close friends with "replaced" me by befriending my enemy at the time.

a neighbor I was closed to "replaced" me with the new people in the area with dogs....

now I am terrified of my therapist 'replacing me" with the new client who is getting a dog down the road, right now I am the only client who brings a dog and it has been a huge bonding thing for us.

He also said when I asked if all his clients feel attached, yes to some degree but basically indicated due to my lack of support outside the office, I am the one who seems to have it the most.... which makes me feel nuts.

Anyway a lot of rambling....

I am just wondering if anyone else has this issue and what can I do? should i just insist we talk about it more? I feel so stupid knowing I never realized this and its probably why I refuse to get close to ppl in life and why being close to my therapist scares me beyond words.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sure you're not the only one who feels like this.. and yes, I ecnourage you to talk about this more. It might me very important.

People change friendships all the time.... I mean, some friendships are meant to last lifelong, and others are meant just for the time being, while it serves a need for one or both people. When a friendship no longer fulfills a need, it usually dissolves.

I cannot tell you how many ppl I've lost a closeness to over the years. I don't take it personally though, since it's just the nature of life. People go with whomever they can relate to the most at the time, and may drop you eventually as a friend, but it's not personal. Like I find that most married ppl want to hang out with other married couples and not their single friends. It's only natural because they can relate better.

I would be cautious about feeling like you need to be "close" with your therapist, like a friend would. Attachment in that way is a bit... well perhaps not good for you as it is a professional relationship only. So if you view it as a professional relationship rather than an experience where you need to bond with the therapist, that may be best. Your therapist will never replace you, just don't think of your therapist as you would a friend. ((((hugs))))

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

People change friendships all the time.... I mean, some friendships are meant to last lifelong, and others are meant just for the time being, while it serves a need for one or both people. When a friendship no longer fulfills a need, it usually dissolves.

I cannot tell you how many ppl I've lost a closeness to over the years. I don't take it personally though, since it's just the nature of life. People go with whomever they can relate to the most at the time, and may drop you eventually as a friend, but it's not personal. Like I find that most married ppl want to hang out with other married couples and not their single friends. It's only natural because they can relate better.

I would be cautious about feeling like you need to be "close" with your therapist, like a friend would. Attachment in that way is a bit... well perhaps not good for you as it is a professional relationship only. So if you view it as a professional relationship rather than an experience where you need to bond with the therapist, that may be best. Your therapist will never replace you, just don't think of your therapist as you would a friend. ((((hugs))))

I don't need to feel close to him, In fact, I tried to fight it at all costs.. but it happened. Apparently its common. It scares me feeling close to anyone. I am also at times feeling like pushing him away but that wont help me much

doesn't help much knowing that its normal to lose people. I'm tired of losing people. I guess I just wish I knew if it was worth bothering with ppl anymore or if they all are gonna leave me. This is why I prefer dogs

Originally Posted by DP_2017

I don't need to feel close to him, In fact, I tried to fight it at all costs.. but it happened. Apparently its common. It scares me feeling close to anyone. I am also at times feeling like pushing him away but that wont help me much

doesn't help much knowing that its normal to lose people. I'm tired of losing people. I guess I just wish I knew if it was worth bothering with ppl anymore or if they all are gonna leave me. This is why I prefer dogs

It's really hard losing ppl, I can empathize, and you've lost several, so I understand.

I guess what I was trying to point out is that it happens in life and is something we must learn how to accept, somehow. And with age, maturity and wisdom, we can learn over time how to accept this fact and nature of life.

Many ppl do prefer animals for just that reason. I understand how it scares you to be close to ppl for fear of losing them, but I guess just consider whether it's worth it or not to get close to people. Friendships contribute to one's overall happiness, and isolation is far worse.

I would continue to explore and talk about this with your therapist and maybe you can come to some sort of resolution. (((hugs))

[Sunflower123]

I agree with the responses above. I also encourage you to process this with your therapist. It seems like a wound you need to explore. Best wishes.