I'm choosing to continue this in another thread, because it's kind of separate, and will make my other thread less long.

My cousin's Fiance has me blocked on Facebook. I could understand completely why, at first, I'm just not sure why she still has me blocked, since we talk now and she tells me she "misses and loves me."

Backstory: Note: this does not put me in the most flattering light. But it's the truth.

She came into the family last year, in 2016, when she had my cousin's baby. The baby was born addicted to xanax and suboxone. The baby was taken away from them and given to my cousin's mom. I thought that was awful, but she was so nice to me, and I didn't want to be judgmental. We became friends. I noticed she lied a lot though. Like, I caught her in lies, and she confessed to me she still took xanax and suboxone, even though she was court ordered to not be on xanax.

I got sick of dealing with her and the way she was. It made me uncomfortable. And I was also jealous of her, that all my family on Facebook, had accepted her friend requests, but not mine.

This is the bad part about ME: I cringe when I think about this now. I felt so guilty, for a long time. But here's what happened. I used to post negative stuff on Facebook. I posted about her. It didn't have her name in it, but I said I was sick of hanging around with people who lie and do illegal things (she was doing something illegal, involving seeing her child). She messaged me and asked if it was about her, which I thought was interesting. But I finally said yes, it was about her.

That was when I was initially feeling regretful about what I put, because for a whole day and night, she tried to manipulate me into telling her "why I didn't like her." She said some crazy stuff. Its like she was looking for a fight. She even called me. I guess it had upset her quite a bit. I didn't want to get into a fight though, and said so. Which she said I was back pedaling. She unfriended me, and that was when I lost my ****. I called her every name in the book, in a FB message. I told her I thought she was a liar and that she was wrong to do drugs when she was pregnant and not tell her doctors. She blocked me. That was one year ago.

A few days after that had happened, I apologized, because I felt like I had ****ed up. I hurt someone's feelings badly.

I called her, and told her I was sorry. I was sincerely sorry, and said I ****ed up. I also told her I'd been jealous of her, which was true at the time, because of my family, which she knew a little about how I felt about them and the situation. But it didn't excuse my behavior.

She forgave me. Everything was fine. Christmas was ****ed up, because her and my cousin were on drugs and we had to call the cops bc my cousin got violent.

But I guess the point of my story is, I feel terrible for having been such a *****. I am still blocked by her. To this day. And She sends me text messages saying "I miss you, I LOVE you, you should come visit me with my new baby." So I'm confused. Did I hurt her That much? I hope not. Or is she trying to mess with me? Or is something up? I doubt she just forgot I'm blocked. I really doubt it. Btw, I didn't say "I love you" back to her. It felt unnatural.

So there's the story. I feel. That I learned. A LOT. through this situation. The fight. About myself. It was that, which made me realize I had a problem. With being negative, and impulsive, with being hurtful. But I am not usually hurtful either. Maybe thats why it was all the more hurtful to her too. But.......I can't hold this over my head forever. I am in the process of forgiving myself. Yes, I ****ed up. But we all make mistakes. And I learned from mine.

I do think.....I should not give Facebook so much focus. I'm not on it much anyway, so I don't know why I've been thinking about these things.

[Shazerac]

Facebook is a tricky thing to navigate. If all the things you say about her a true that's really sad. I feel bad for her child.

However, you did say hurtful things and outed her on Facebook. You basically told the entire world about her dirty laundry. If someone did that to you it would hurt really bad even if you were totally in the wrong.

Frequently in dysfunctional families the person who stands up, opens their mouth and says "hey, we have huge problems here" is labeled the bad guy. I've been the evil daughter for thirty years because I said my mother was an alcoholic. She was and still is.

I think your mistake was doing it on Facebook. It's not anonymous like here on the forum. Don't beat yourself up about it. You screwed up you've learned from the experience. It's probably a good thing that you're blocked so you won't be tempted to go back and repeat your mistake in a moment of anger.

[Trippin2.0]

I wouldn't hold it against her.

All she is really doing is making sure you don't have a platform to publicly humiliate her again, should the need arise.

If the need doesn't, well what harm is really done?

She is protected and you have other ways to communicate.

People put too much stock in FB.

Reminds me, I really should get rid of mine.

I did not publicly humiliate her. This was in a message to her on Facebook. Not on her wall.

But I understand her wanting to protect herself.

I don't completely trust her either.

[Sunflower123]

You could always ask her why you're still blocked.

Yeah, I would just ask her. She may be protecting herself, but you've done your duty by apologizing and making amends. Sounds like otherwise, things are positive between you again. Try not to beat yourself up over the Facebook issue.. you've learned a lesson and are taking it to heart. (((Hugs)))

[selmaduric3]

Don't dwell on the little things.

Thank you! I'm very critical of myself over it. But it's time to begin forgiving myself. Letting it go. I did learn a huge and valuable lesson. I might ask her. I don't know yet.

[hvert]

It's possible that she is still posting lies on FB and doesn't want you to see them...

[~Christina]

Forgive yourself and just let it go , I have been blocked by a few people on Facebook , but I have blocked many , some family too.

You are in touch with her in text that trumps Facebook 24/7

(((( hugs ))))

This is why I stopped using Facebook for personal use. I use Facebook solely for marketing purposes for my online business where I use my fanpage and Facebook advertisements to promote my online website/webstore.

I understand how much it hurts to be blocked by people. In fact, being blocked by people on social media or forums is a prime trigger for me as it makes me angry and depressed; especially if I like that person or have otherwise invested a lot of energy into them.

The best bet would be to not take Facebook as seriously and step away from it for awhile. If that isn't possible, you could perhaps tell her that being blocked is hurtful and ask her to unblock you? It could work since it's been about a year and you realize that you might have been in the wrong (even though I don't think that you were wrong).

[Turtle_Rider]

I think my point of view a little bit differ than others.

I think you are not wrong at all. Regardings what your story is, she's more like manipulator for me. As she blocked you, you just have a good riddance. It just my opinion through, I could be wrong.

Originally Posted by Turtle_Rider

I think my point of view a little bit differ than others.

I think you are not wrong at all. Regardings what your story is, she's more like manipulator for me. As she blocked you, you just have a good riddance. It just my opinion through, I could be wrong.

I agree which is why I stated that I don't think that she's in the wrong in my last reply. If the OP really wants a relationship with this person, it's entirely on her and if this is the case, she should work through things with this other woman.

Personally, I can't tell people how many times I've been blocked on Facebook back when I used to use it for personal use because I would not tolerate people's B.S and if somebody was disrespectful to me, I would sink to any low to put them in their place. Hell, I had a girl at one point ruthlessly trolled by a big private troll and offensive humor private group that I was in that had over 3,000 members. I used to be a mean spirited person who used to get into fights with people all the time because I had a lot of mental health issues and unaddressed trauma and I acted that way to cope with how much I was hurting.

So yeah, if Star is hurt or offended by this person, she should not put up with them at all.

Thank you for the replies everyone. I was kind of surprised by the compassion and gentleness you've all shown me about this. I really appreciated it and was grateful. I think I'm the harshest on myself maybe.

I will post more later in response to some of the responses, if I think to. Kind of tired right now.

The thing with her, is she doesn't appear to me, to be able to take responsibility for her mistakes. Even with her child, it was the doctors and CPS being too harsh. Not her. And the fact that I said that to her, it probably really upset her bc she was so used to me just playing dumb and agreeing w her. But it was a year ago. I don't trust her. I did visit her the other day though. I think I'm lonely. And yeah, I know that's my choice. I think about asking her why. But every time I do, I feel upset.

[Turtle_Rider]

The main reason why I think she may be a manipulator, is because I ever befriended one too. Through the situation is different, I do feel the same thing like what are you feeling right now: guilty, but despise her; you don't even trust her. And based on your short description about her, she sound like one.

Of course I don't know if I right or not since I never meet her at all. I only want to warn you. If she is indeed a manipulator, better not deal with her or try to minimize all your interaction with her. For your own mental health sake.