[SorryShaped]

Last week I met someone that's way outta my league. She's beautiful to every degree, and I just found out she's 15 years younger than me! She gave me her number and we've been texting and I found out that she doesn't care about the age difference and wants to date anyway. I'm mildly apprehensive because of the age thing but, she's an adult and so am I, legally, but prolly not mentally. Do I continue?

[Sunflower123]

Absolutely. Good luck.

[SorryShaped]

If anything it'll piss off my ex

[s4ndm4n2006]

who cares about your ex. and why even bring it up? go for it, forget the ex... she's an ex... in other words opinions and thoughts of theirs don't matter one iota.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

who cares about your ex. and why even bring it up? go for it, forget the ex... she's an ex... in other words opinions and thoughts of theirs don't matter one iota.

True that. It's just my evil poking through. My ex IS more than 7 years older than me, though. So, I'd be the typical midlife crisis, dating someone just over half her age... Amuses me a little. Wouldn't it you? My ex was an abusive, cruel and mean woman. I didn't plan any of this. It's not even a typical date yet, but I'm going over for to watch some TV show she likes on Friday. NF&C prolly?

[s4ndm4n2006]

not really. I want to date someone that makes me happy and fits my specs for a match. what the ex was and is... and how it would make her feel, well frankly idc anymore. I have no vengeance in me with regards to finding someone new.

[s4ndm4n2006]

See in reality in many cases and probably most, there isn't a wrong and right in relationship failures. Yes there are some cases where there is abuse and/or cheating and such but many many times it's just that the relationship didn't work out, the two people didn't get along, didn't see eye to eye etc.. and in that there's not really any fault to be attached to any one party. Yes we all feel it was the other's fault but in truth, it's probably not anyone's but the fact that it was a personality and value mismatch and that's ok. let them move on and you can too...

Enjoy the new person you meet and date... and keep all your lessons from the past relationship to help you to see the signs of this mismatch if there is one, earlier.

[SorryShaped]

I shouldn't, but I've only divorced this year. It had nothing to do with ex until I found out her age. I divorced her because I couldn't allow myself to be abused by her any more, not because I wanted someone else.
I know I have some, in that dump trucks hold some pebbles, of anger, frustration, angst, damages, mental and emotional stuff to work through that's going to take hella long. I am truly angry at my ex. I have the right to be. Getting even isn't my goal, nor truly is it to anger her, because she's already transferred the stuff that was mine for all those years to my daughter. I just really want everything that isn't her. However, she started her psych team after I said it was over.
You are right that ticking her off shouldn't be a goal for me, and I agree. I could tell everything she did that I know but I'm wordy enough already. My memory is perfect on most things I should let go of first. Eh, I'll put it in my biography.

[SorryShaped]

I'll have to figure out what a healthy relationship is entirely. I've never had one... Not romantically. Not even with my parents or siblings. Gotta take small steps then run, jump like hell and fly.

[s4ndm4n2006]

I get that. only reason I'm not divorced already is due to the state I live in makes it difficult to do this. technically we've been not together for 5 yrs. it's complicated.

but I understand the feelings.

Honestly. I see nothing wrong with dating this woman and I see nothing wrong with rubbing your new relationship in your ex's face.

If I ever become lucky enough to attract a woman that's very physically attractive, I will show her off to everybody who has ever rejected or abandoned me when I needed somebody. I will make every girl that's ever dumped me rue the day that they did.

Retribution can be euphoric sometimes. As long as you aren't getting back at everybody that wrongs you, I don't see anything wrong with a bit of vindictiveness; if anything, it can be a good coping skill if used right and in moderation.

[s4ndm4n2006]

What's the point of rubbing anyone's face in anything? 99% of the time nothing good will come from doing so, only stir a pot that doesn't needs stirring and enticing the other party to respond in kind... can you see where this will deteriorate into an unnecessary battle based on past grievances that are best left in the past?

You've broken up, divorced or otherwise parted ways, seeking vengeance is really just dwelling on a past that made you unhappy. why carry the anger, rage and pain of that past when it does nothing to enhance the relationship or date you're currently in?

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

What's the point of rubbing anyone's face in anything? 99% of the time nothing good will come from doing so, only stir a pot that doesn't needs stirring and enticing the other party to respond in kind... can you see where this will deteriorate into an unnecessary battle based on past grievances that are best left in the past?

You've broken up, divorced or otherwise parted ways, seeking vengeance is really just dwelling on a past that made you unhappy. why carry the anger, rage and pain of that past when it does nothing to enhance the relationship or date you're currently in?

It's simple: to feel power over those who hurt you. Making somebody who made you feel powerless and worthless feel the same way feels so satisfying (at least it does for me).

For example: back around 5-6 years ago, I was at a votech school. There was this girl there that I had a crush on. I befriended her and was trying to get close to her and I added her on Facebook and what not. She had a high IQ and was an ambitious overachiever. She was also a bully towards people who she deemed less intelligent. Because I had poor social skills, she often treated me with contempt. She also had the school's backing because she did so well that the school used her for advertising purposes and what not. Needless to say, she later blocked me on Facebook and stopped associating with me. After that, I went to a major gaming convention and met a YouTube gaming celebrity that I idolized back then and got pictures with him and $150 worth of free gaming stuff from the company that sponsored him. I used my newfound fame and made friends with half of the people in my class since they were also heavy gamers. I used my newfound popularity to make her feel worthless and later sabotaged her reputation a bit which cost her a job that she was trying to obtain. When she blocked me, it made me feel so worthless that I was feeling depressed and suicidal for a whole week. After making all of these friends and meeting that famous YouTuber, I never felt happier in my entire life.

Having power over others who used to have power over you is the best feeling that I have ever experienced. Most people would disagree with me but it doesn't matter. No two people are the same in this world so there isn't a one size all approach to treat the human condition.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Great. I'm glad you made yourself feel better.

[SorryShaped]

Power over others. No thanks. I've got too much to control here. My ex is a nothing. Don't need to go anywhere near her unless to see my kids. Done. Don't wanna cause any emotion between us at all.
Thanks for the convincing of what I already knew was the right path

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Power over others. No thanks. I've got too much to control here. My ex is a nothing. Don't need to go anywhere near her unless to see my kids. Done. Don't wanna cause any emotion between us at all.
Thanks for the convincing of what I already knew was the right path

Glad I could be of service

In a way, I wish I could be more like you in that regard. I simply can't handle being rejected or abandoned at all and if somebody rejects me, it hurts a lot. I treat those who reject me the way that I do, not because I enjoy it, but because it helps ease the overwhelming amount of pain that I feel.

Perhaps one day, I will find a more efficient way to cope with rejection. Until that day comes, I am doing what I can to survive in this dark and lonely world.

Anyways, I wish you the best with your relationship.

[SorryShaped]

Not a relationship. Not yet, anyway. We'll see in time. I'm going to take every relationship, even friends, slowwwwwww from now on. I moved fast before and it was a long time suffering.

[Crazy Hitch]

I say go for it!

[SorryShaped]

Really tho... Never thought I'd be invited for Netflix and chill. Never in my wildest dreams someone that turns me on like that, not ever. Even if she kills me and wears my head like a hat, I will go down smiling

[~Christina]

Enjoy enjoy enjoy , your not going to marry her next week , just get to know her, it's exciting to meet new people !

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Enjoy enjoy enjoy , your not going to marry her next week , just get to know her, it's exciting to meet new people !

True true true!
I'm not marrying again. I'm too old to start that again. I married too young and into a bad situation that I shouldn't have been in, but mostly did it because I loved her kids and we were about to have more. I thought I was in love the whole time but I don't think I know what love is truly. Gonna just have all the fun I can for now. Last time I dated a 28 year old, I was 21. I hope she can keep up!

[missy_kmac_st]

My fiance and I are 13 years apart, he's almost 40 and I'm in my mid 20s. I'd make sure she's mentally an adult otherwise you'll be looking for two different things at the end of the day.

[SorryShaped]

"to feel power over" was the turning point in this. I don't want to power over anyone. I know how terribly I felt when she did it to me for all that time.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by missy_kmac_st

My fiance and I are 13 years apart, he's almost 40 and I'm in my mid 20s. I'd make sure she's mentally an adult otherwise you'll be looking for two different things at the end of the day.

Invited me for "Netflix and chill" kinda explains it. I don't want or need seriousness at this point in my life. I could certainly use some fun because I'm fighting downhill emotions overall

[SorryShaped]

Caution.. adult themes below

Well this is all over.
I was not in a relationship with anyone.
She showed up this morning while Mom was in therapy. She had been there early and found an open closet we could use. We very much did.
Fast forward to this evening. I went to the gym. This woman there that I've had sex with before offered it again. There have never been and won't be names or numbers exchanged. We did, in the parking lot, in her car. After we got done, I went in to workout and go to my class. I got message on my way in and it was the woman this is about, saying she was coming to the gym. I didn't expect that.
The woman this is all about showed up late for yoga. She missed the class. After yoga, she met me in the parking lot and wanted to fool around a little. Busted. She smelled the other woman on me.
"I'll never date a slut! I don't want to be in a relationship with a cheater."
My reply was "but we're not in a relationship."
We aren't. We're just getting to know each other. We never said we were.
She just about ran over my foot as she sped off.
I know I messed up, but I didn't really at the same time. I had not made a commitment to anyone and I'll refuse to. She knew ahead of time I don't want a commitment.