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#1
Oct 01, 2017, 11:27 PM
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I started using tinder a while back and got some matches. The past couple days I finally decided to summon up the courage and message some of them. A couple of them responded and we exchanged a few messages. What I am finding is that I have this constant fear that they are only talking to me to be nice and that by talking to them I am putting them in a position where they feel pressured to talk to me because they don't want to be mean. This causes me to feel ashamed and insecure about what I am doing. Yes it's true that these girls liked my profile and swiped right, but what if after interacting with me they find me unappealing and they change their minds about me? How do I overcome these feelings? Should I even be trying to overcome them? On the one hand, it is really preventing me from having experiences with girls, but on the other hand, it may also be preventing me from being "that guy."
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 Shazerac, Sunflower123
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#2
Oct 02, 2017, 02:21 PM
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Sure, you will be rejected by some, that just means that wasn't the one for you. It's normal to feel nervous, you are possibly embarking on a new relationship and there will be all sorts of reactions. No shame in trying so keep reaching out.
__________________
 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
 lizardlady
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#3
Oct 02, 2017, 03:37 PM
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People typically won't talk to others on dating sites just to be nice. They'd move on talking to nsomeone else. Not like they know you. Most certainly they wouldn't feel pressured to talk to you, they don't know you. Yes those who initially like you, might change their mind. But it's true abiutnabh interaction with people. People might change their minds. And so can you!
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#4
Oct 02, 2017, 03:39 PM
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I tried a dating site recently but closed my account even before my sub had run out - I just felt too exposed.
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#5
Oct 02, 2017, 04:15 PM
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Tinder is honestly a lot of ********. It's either a tool used by people desperate for a one-night stand, or a tool used to find a relationship based solely on looks.
__________________
Turn around and walk the razor's edge Don't turn your back and slam the door on me |
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#6
Oct 02, 2017, 10:10 PM
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You have nothing to lose talking to as many women as you can.
It would be good as a learning experience. Happy chatting
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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#7
Oct 03, 2017, 08:17 AM
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I agree with the above posters. It doesn't hurt to talk to as many women as you can, some will reject you (everybody has experienced rejection but keep trying), people usually won't keep talking to you just to be nice (they would generally fade out) and Tinder is questionable to me. Good luck. Sending big hugs.
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