Honestly, "How you doing?"

SorryShaped · Oct 12, 2017, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Some people are definitely more empathetic than others and non-verbals can certainly give off strong vibes. That being said I think it is almost delusional to think that you can tell how people are feeling just by being around them. Yes, there are hints and indicators based on non-verbals but you are not a mind reader. And that is what this sounds like to me - mind reading. You may have these strong "senses" but please know that you may not always be right. Even this post put me off a bit, to be honest. I would much more likely open up to someone who doesn't pretend to know it all. If you already know how I'm feeling, why would I need to elaborate further?

I ask because I want to try to help. Some people just need ANYONE to talk to. One kind word could save someone. One person caring could make them hold on that one more day so the real help could get there.
I know most people don't believe in it, but I sense the states of being, not the events. For example, I can feel someone's stress, another's calmness, love, joy, anger, depression, etc, etc in a room of 10, with my eyes closed and my back turned. I never would have thought this possible either, until it happened. It's not something I can turn off, though I really wish I could sometimes. Funerals really hurt.
There are things that happen in the Universe that we can't explain. I accept and embrace these things. I was never a spiritual person prior to 2017, but an experience changed me and I fully know there is more to it than life, then death, then nothing.
There is magic in us all. Finding it is key to the Sanskrit prayer of "Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu"
I know I'm weird and seem crazy for saying any of this, but it happens. Most religions believe in miracles. While fighting in the depths of my soul, I have found my gift.

SorryShaped · Oct 12, 2017, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patagonia

I feel we all have the right to judge another. It's inherent as primates, we size each other up. We compare. We judge.
Now what we do with that judgement.....is another story.

That is your choice; part of your path. I find us all equals and I believe no one is qualified to judge another.
We all believe differently. That makes the whole universe beautiful.

SorryShaped · Oct 12, 2017, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

Yes we all judge. I try (but sometimes fail) to keep my judgements to myself because it makes me feel so angry when I feel like I am being judged in a negative way. I try to keep negative comments to myself. This is easy to do with strangers and acquaintences--harder to do with my H and children. It makes the world a better place when we are able to see the positive side of things.

Not all lies are bad in this regard. I like it when my H tells me I look good even when I look like crap!

I don't look for either side but do praise when they are being positive. Yes, that's judging, but I judge the actions, and not the person. You trapped me there, eh?

Oct 14, 2017, 07:31 AM

I do answer but I limit the negative replies to, "It has been a hard day" or, 'I'm a bit down." And of course I follow it up with asking the same of them. This gives them an opportunity to either delve further into your day if they feel the need to or an 'out' from an uncomfortable situation. Most I find acknowledge it and from their reaction I know if I can follow up in further detail. Remember that being uncomfortable is not a sign of not caring.

SorryShaped · Oct 14, 2017, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I do answer but I limit the negative replies to, "It has been a hard day" or, 'I'm a bit down." And of course I follow it up with asking the same of them. This gives them an opportunity to either delve further into your day if they feel the need to or an 'out' from an uncomfortable situation. Most I find acknowledge it and from their reaction I know if I can follow up in further detail. Remember that being uncomfortable is not a sign of not caring.

You are very on point here. In my opinion the best answer so far. But what do I know?

I'm still trying to learn that whole body language/verbal language interaction thing.

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