this is long, im sorry

I got in contact with a celebrity I really like somehow, and he chats with me and some of my online friends every once in a while.
But one of the friends have some mental health problems, and she tells the celebrity every time she's upset.
The celebrity (i'll just call him M) is really worried about her, and he talks to the rest of us about her problems and i can just tell he cares.

But the thing is, I have problems too.

I know these things shouldn't be compared and I hate myself right now for being selfish, but she at least has real-life friends that she can talk to and her parents get her therapy.
I have depression and anxiety, I'm just teetering on the edge of 'real' self harm, my parents used to beat me, still do it sometimes, they constantly fight and they say things that really hurt me, yelling and swearing triggers me and makes me have panic attacks sometimes. I only barely ate a meal a day for the previous two weeks because I didn't really feel hunger until I actually remembered and made myself eat. My parents have mental problems of their own and they don't really think I'm capable of having mental problems, i can't even get close to the subject because they blame everything on my 'teen moods'. I don't have anyone i can tell this to except the mentioned online friend, and she's the only one I have.
(I posted about this online friend once)

It's just that I don't like to burden or worry people, and I know it's not true but I can't let go of the thought that I have to be perfect.
M thinks I'm the one holding her together, and he doesn't really know about my problems.

But a while ago I finally got the courage to text him about my mental health, and this constantly gave me anxiety before he finally replied.
He just said something like "hope u get better" and moved right on, talking about that friend again and how she was sad at the moment.

I really don't want to be some selfish fan begging for the celebrity's attention but this really bothered me.

I don't feel like he's taking me and my problems seriously, and it's kind of sad to have even your favorite celebrity to think you're fine.

And I can just tell he doesn't really think I have these problems, i don't know, maybe it's because I don't text him when it's actually bad so it doesn't sound like it's real.

I just don't do that because I don't want people sad or worried because of me, and it was hard enough to open up to that one online friend.

I really don't know if I'm a bad person for thinking my own problems are bad but I guess I just want someone to care about me, idk.

The thought that he might think I'm fake and doesn't care about me, cares about her much more than me makes me worry so much and gives me so much anxiety.

I'm sorry about your situation, but it seems really clear to me. As you say, your friend talks about her problems all the time, and you just once, so to the celebrity the friend's problems are much more visible and urgent.

To me your problems sound absolutely valid to talk about, although, you know, depending on the celebrity's situation and how many messages or whatever he gets, if you both start talking on the same level, it might get overwhelming for him... And I guess, since you already feel about it this way, it might be hard to approach him in a manner that wouldn't come out jealous or whatever...

Yeah... Have you talked to your friend about this?

I can understand this. I'm sorry you are in this situation . Would you be able to distance yourself from them for a little while? Or tell them what's Really up? Are you in therapy? Hope you keep posting here. We're here.

Your family life issues deserve to be validated by more than "hope u get better"

This online celebrity probably gets tons of emails so not sure how really personal he can get with everyone he responds to. Yes it would be nice if he had validated your situation & I totally understand why you feel hurt by him not responding to you in a more sensitive was.....
but maybe you can find someone in your real life who can be much more personal with their validation.

Know you will get much more caring responses here at PC that what you got from the celeb.

Keep posting here & you will get good caring support

I agree with eskielover. Your celebrity friend may get a lot of communication from fans and has zeroed in on your friend since she brought up her problems so frequently. I’m sorry your issues weren’t validated. As eskielover said, you can always talk to us here. We are a caring and supportive bunch. Best wishes.