[palsera27]

I’m not sure if this is true, but my mom insist my dad cheated on her. My dad passed in 2012 so I can’t ask him. However my mom blames me for unhappiness in marriage to my dad. There is some favoritism in my family as I get the brunt of most of their abuse. I’m the family scapegoat, but if I bring this up she says I’m exaggerating. I’m 34. I just realized that my moms an abuser. She sabotages her relationships and blames me. I had lots of health problems as a child, so I was the special needs child.

Also how do I get answers about if it’s true or not about what my dad did. Also I suspect that my mom may not be my real mom. My mom treats me like I don’t belong.

I definitely relate. Sounds like maybe your mom doesn't like taking a lot of responsibilty for her own affairs.

Unfortunately children some times find themselves being drawn into the middle of something that really is not their fault, but parents will use their children as scapegoats and pawns in their feuds. I think it's good that you recognize that is happening in your case.

Sorry you went through that. As to how to get answers, sorry, I don't know the answer to that.

Would it be helpful to you to know he did?

I understand though what you have gone through being the family scapegoat. I too had a bully of a mother who blamed everything ill that happened or was wrong with her life on me. I had done so on purpose or willed it to happen. And yes, favouritism existed.

What do you think may be the reason?

In my case I have done the math and it is obvious mom regretted my unplanned arrival. She openly reminded my father and I she wasn't living the life she was destined to live.

So I ask what may have been the trigger and suggest that might be a starting point in having a heart to heart with her (something I wish I had done before my mother passed).