[Confused&worried]

I have recently found that my husband likes really young girls...he is 70 and I am 37. I have found really young girl porn and found he only takes care of himself(I didn’t know how to put it, didn’t know if I can say the M word) only when my 11 year old daughter is here...no other time does he do it...we don’t have relations anymore because he says that it doesn’t work anymore. I don’t know how to handle this. I want to address the issue desperately and can be compassionate about it even if I don’t feel it but he is not one to talk to. I have a ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach and don’t want to allow my daughter to come here anymore. I can visit with her another way. Has anyone been through this and if so how did you handle it...I have never been on anything like this. Just really worried.

[mote.of.soul]

Hi Confused&worried and welcome. I can't say I've had any kind of experience along those lines but it's obviously a concern, yes. I just wanted to say though, just because your husband has those kinds of tendencies, it doesn't actually mean he's a danger to your daughter or to any child. There's a stigma attached to pedophilia that they must all be wanting to act out toward the first child they see, but that's not actually the case. From what I understand, most keep it to themselves and have no desire to harm any child. I know that through threads on mental health websites. But it's obviously a stressful situation for you to be in, and I hope you find a good resolution soon.

If you found really young girl porn, he should be reported to the authorities. There is no excuse. Children are abused specifically to produce this stuff for people like him. If he has child porn, he should be held responsible for it. By protecting him you are also committing a crime.

Furthermore I don't care what "most" pedophiles do. Not a chance my kids would be anywhere near someone with those tendancies if I was aware. I applaud your decision on that one.

Report him to the police and get a divorce.

There is a problem if you don't want your own daughter to come over because of your husband. So he can take care of himself but won't have sex with you, his wife? I agree with TheSadGirl.

[mote.of.soul]

Yes, it's true about children being abused for child porn, it's very sad. I hadn't considered that side of it in addressing Confused&worrieds situation. It's tragic.

[Loose Screw x 2]

So, let me get this straight. Your husband no longer desires you but, he likes little girls and has pedophilic porn on his computer or looks at it online and proceeds to beat his meat to it? And this only happens when your 11 year old daughter is under the same roof? How can you NOT know what to do about this? This is DISGUSTING. Wake up! It is not about whether or not you should have compassion toward him. This is a sick and twisted desire for someone to have and furthermore this is not only happening in your house but, it is also happening as a result of your daughter's presence. Drop the politically correct bull, keep your daughter away from this guy at all costs and get away from him yourself! If he has pedophilic porn it is your duty as a citizen of your state to report it to the authorities. Don't stand around, twidling your thumbs or sitting on your hands. This guy has a major problem. Don't let it become your child's problem, your problem or some other person's problem. You know what you need to do. The longer you put it off the worse it will get. I hope you make the right decision and soon.

[MickeyCheeky]

How young exactly? If he's a pedophile, then yes, you should definitely report him to the police, or at the very least divorce with him.

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

How young exactly? If he's a pedophile, then yes, you should definitely report him to the police, or at the very least divorce with him.

Note she said girls, not women and he gets off to an 11 year old in the house. I think it's safe to assume he's a pedophile.

Only divorcing him does a grave dis-justice to the children being abused in the porn he's watching. He should be in prison. These kids can't speak for themselves, it's up to us to be their voice.

Yes I'm really heated on this topic. I may be coming off strong, but it can't be helped.

How relevant. I didn't realize how serious the consequences are of just having child porn on your computer: https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/...183521198.html

[Loose Screw x 2]

This shouldn't even be a discussion. This is the ridiculous kind of garbage that happens with all of this pc bs that the TV spits out these days! "Oh, boo-hoo. He's only human and has needs too..." Are you freaking kidding me?! The guy gets aroused at the sight and thought of little girls! He has porn either on his computer or pictures from a sick magazine or something! This is so sick. How can anyone with a clear conscience or half a brain not understand how sick this is? I have a niece who was molested along with two friends of hers by a babysitter who frightened her into silence for years! How do you think it makes people who have been the victims of people like this feel to know that you are uncertain what to do about this guy? You should be on the phone with the cops right now! I don't care if you can't reason with him. I'm sure that a few cops with batons and pepper spray will make him VERY, VERY reasonable! That's all I'm going to say. I'm getting pissed. Just do what you know is right. Report him immediatly. If you can't call from home then go somewhere were you feel safe and call from there. You can not reason with those who are unreasonable.

[mote.of.soul]

It's true, it is a sickness, but if someone with those tendencies which they were born with - not their fault - has never used child porn [unlike Confused&worrieds husband] and has no desire to abuse children at all, and the thought of doing that makes them feel sick, then you have to feel sorry for someone trapped in that hell. Those people are out there. Then when they reach out for help and try to change their thoughts through therapy, they're reported to the police, blacklisted, their life possibly ruined. As I say, it's a tragedy. I'm not in any way condoning the abuse of children though, by the way. That's a monstrous crime.

[Deejay14]

There is no good solution to this. He is a pedophile. Call the police,protect your daughter and leave him. When your daughter figures this all out belt intended days or ten years it is never going to be okay with her that you stayed with a pedophile even if she never comes to the house again. By staying with him you are making a choice that no one is going to be okay with. I speak from experience here. An experience iwish my family nor I should ever have to deal with.

OP, you may be harboring a criminal which may or may not be a criminal act in itself.
Legal Questions: Will I Go to Jail for Viewing Child Pornography? - NJ Cybercrime Lawyers

[Loose Screw x 2]

mote.of.soul, this is not about thought crime or pre-crime this is about real, actual crime because the guy either has files on his computer, in his phone or actual materials that contain this mess. As far as someone being born with a desire being only toward children I don't buy that. Desires may take root at an early age because of experiences but, that doesn't mean that it is innocent to think of or have a desire for such things. Yes, people who have such desires and know that it is sick should be able to seek help without fear of being ostricised or arrested. I am no supporter of pre-crime, thought crime or any other Orwellian beliefs but, I do believe that when someone poses a potential threat to the weak and/or innocent that they need to be made to understand it and to further understand that they need help and if they refuse to seek it or recieve it then, a form of action to get them into treatment should be taken before some innocent person does get hurt. Just because it may not happen doesn't mean that it will not happen. I mean what about the countless other molestors and rapists out there who started out just looking at porn and having horrid fantasies while someone stood by and made excuses for them because they hadn't touched anyone yet. At what point does it go from fantasy to crime? Nobody can pinpoint that, not even the perpetrator in some cases because even they never know when those thoughts will enter their minds or when they will see the object of their desires and possibly loose control. This is not a game. People's lives and families get destroyed by stuff like this and the minds of survivors are heavily damaged by these actions. Some to the point of insanity. The kind of insanity from which there is no recovery. Some even take their own lives. I just can't see protecting a potential monster who may harm someone because they have within them the desire to and the capacity for it in the name of human rights.

[mote.of.soul]

@MavriforceK9r: I know what it's about. Don't expect me to adopt your lynch mob mentality.

[Apokolips]

Possessing child pornography is a crime. It is illegal. This man has it in his possession. Expecting someone who has commuted a serious felony to receive punishment for it is far from a lynch mob.

[mote.of.soul]

I know it's a crime, and so it should be.

[Loose Screw x 2]

I tried... Can't please everyone.

[mote.of.soul]

This is about Worried&confused and the unfortunate situation she finds herself in, and she needs to hear as many opinions and views before she decides on what to do next in her life. It's not about me.