What do I do

My mom in law says she's always right , constantly brags about herself gets easily angered and disagrees with everything I do for my one year old child and do as she desires without telling me when ever she gets a chance , generally
She's too controlling and bossy over everyone , we live in a joint family system and my husband is extremely busy these days so I hv to be alone with her at home cuz I hv a baby to look after , every day is a struggle for me , I have tried conveying it to her that her behaviour is extremely degrading and hurts me but nothing has changed except that our relationship has become more awkward

Hello Iqu: Thanks for sharing your concern. I don't know as there is a lot I can suggest here. Perhaps other members will have some suggestions they can share. It appears you are in Pakistan? So I presume there are cultural pressures on you I would be unfamiliar with. From my perspective, the situation you describe is primarily a matter of establishing & enforcing boundaries. Here are links to some articles, from the PsychCentral archives, on the subject of boundaries:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-ar...do-i-get-some/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-imp...al-boundaries/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-...er-boundaries/

Family therapist, Kati Morton has videos on her YouTube channel on the subjects of how to deal with toxic people & personal boundaries. Here are links to three of them:







I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. May I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

Welcome to the forums!

Is your husband able to assist you in this matter? I understand there are cultural differences throughout the world. I was wondering if you could speak privately with your husband at a calm time in the home...and perhaps he can support you by speaking with his mother.

Generally, sometimes it is easier to not engage in conflict and retorts...not saying you are but wanted to emphasize the boundaries links from Skeezyks’ posts are wonderful. I didn’t understand about boundaries when I was in an unhealthy relationship and my therapist opened my eyes!

If at the end of the day, you are still going to have to deal with her behavior—is there at least some time for YOU without her around? Having tea at a girlfriend or sister’s home, visiting your house of prayer, a hobby such as reading (alone!) ... time alone with your husband, perhaps?

This may sound counterintuitive—but showing some appropriate affection or care to your mother-in-law may help? A small gift of her favorite tea or brushing her hair or a pretty, yet modest gift like a scarf or small purse?

You're in a tough spot. Asking her to change is going to get you nowhere. You have to learn to outwit her, but this is never going to be a good situation. Any chance of one day getting out of that living arrangement?