Toxic relationship?

Hey im new here, I don't have anyone I can talk to about my situation cause part of me thinks its all in my head and also I feel as if everyone is tired about hearing of my bf. Anyways... Can one of you tell me whether I am in a toxic relationship or not? Ive been with my bf for a little over 2 years now, and the relationship has always been up and down, when it first started (like others im sure) it was great we were so kind but then we hit a bump and were fighting constantly, he has issues at home with his dad being majorly strict etc and it has taken a toll on him which is why he has had moments where he lashes out and gets upset (never physically). Ive taken a lot of crap as in name calling and blame for things i had no control of because i wanted to be there for him but anyways that being said he is very sensitive, he is affectionate and sweet but when hes having a "bad day" he gets triggered easily. I cant ever bring up anything because he tells me im overreacting and complicated. We cant even have a normal fight because he thinks im being dramatic. For example if i want to talk to him about something he did that bothered me hell get offended and try to win and tell me im wrong "catch feelings" too quick. So its like talking things out doesnt seem to work, He was never that way though he used to be sweeter and apologize for his mistakes but ever since he moved out (he moved back home now) hes been colder. We broke up for two months because he said he needed to "sort **** out" and he didn't wanna "hurt" me and during that time he was awful to me he was rude and said nasty things but he knew how much i loved him which is why i feel as if he manipulated me, we got back and hes been better as in hes more mature but ever since maybe around July of this year hes been colder and kind of going back to his old ways..idk i believe he is good guy he just had been though a lot im afraid he got used to the fact that ill never leave him so he knows he can get away with anything.. I love him with all my heart and were usually really good but the times were not it just makes me think im so emotionally attached that im not seeing the bad.

Hi Jxvlvn. Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you are having relationship issues.

These may be of interest if you find similarities to your own relationship
https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...-a-narcissist/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/narciss...relationships/

htHi Jxvlvn. Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you are having relationship issues.

These may be of interest if you find similarities to your own relationship
https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...-a-narcissist/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/narciss...relationships/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/narci...h-narcissists/tps://blogs.psychcentral.com/narcissism-decoded/2017/06/11-ways-to-set-boundaries-with-narcissists/

Hello Jxvlvn: Since this is your first post here on PC... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. May I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

P.S. You received some great references from CANDC! I guess what I would add is simply that, from my perspective, whether the relationship you're in is or is not toxic, you see how it has gone up to now. I used to know a guy who was fond of saying: "If you want to know which way the bullet's going, look down the barrel of the gun." If you re-read what you've written here, you'll see how things are likely to continue to be between the two of you as long as you are together.

Is it possible you bf will change? Sure... anything's possible. But change takes time. And it requires insight & determination on the part of the person who needs to do the changing. From what you wrote, it doesn't sound to me as though your bf has either of those things; at least not yet. You wrote that you love him with all your heart. So I guess the question becomes do you love him enough, & does he love you enough, that your love will insulate you from the ongoing relationship struggles the two of you are likely to encounter in the future. Only you know the answer to that question.