New Relationship Concerns

He will meet with you, his type just loves to be loved. So you will go meet with him and because he loves to be loved and you are attracted to him and he knows it he will take as much as you are willing to give. He romances "himself" that way. You think he is cute? So does he golden and you watched him display that. His one true love is for himself. Didn't he call himself a man H?

That’s what I was thinking too! That’s what I am trying to say! All this is just to stroke his ego, he feels good getting texts saying he is being missed and now he is being asked to meet! Even when he tells women he isn’t interested in relationship with them, they still miss him and stlll want to meet him and might even make out! If he is man-H he is on cloud nine getting all the attention. But this is so unhealthy, in a long run how is it going to help healing and learning making better choice in men. It would be so much healthier to move on from this and stay away from men like this.

I should bow out probably I can’t possibly be supportive of women selling themselves short again and again. But I can’t pretend this is cool either. Sad 😞

thank you all..

he never said he couldn't be exclusive with me, btw. It was never concluded because I broke it off first before he could decide.

Maybe it IS stroking his ego, but this is for me.

I don't understand your perspective at all, but that;s OK

I regret even saying anything based on the responses. I appreciate the caring concern, however. I just strongly disagree with this as being sad, a set back, or lacking self-respect. I am an empowered woman and am walking away from this relationship.

He is a human being who admitted his flaws. You all are bashing him as though he is some kind of jerk. He is not a jerk and never was to me. I found someone I connect with and I want to be friends.

Thanks for making me feel like sad and pathetic person who keeps going back for more abuse and mistreatment. That is not what this is. Maybe I'll just stop posting.

I also am having a VERY bad morning and am completely stressed.

I am tired of getting triggered on here.

I am taking a break from PC. I cannot take it anymore.

I don't see how anything that is being said is "triggering" unless you mean it's not what you want to hear.

Here is an example. How is this healthy? You are clearly hurting, and people are trying to help.

Some people are not listening to me, respecting my own views and feelings, and people are not being helpful right now. I am not triggering myself. People's posts are triggering to me.

On one hand you say you are okay, you can just be friends, then you tell him you miss him which clearly indicates feelings of some kind and decide you want to make out with him. Yet you were upset when you discovered he was still getting on a dating website, so nonexclusive doesn't seem to be what you want.

People on this site do not always have the best or most helpful feedback. What I am doing is NOT unhealthy -- not to me it's not. So please leave it at that.

Okay. Good luck!

You are not reading what I've written. You are not understanding me. I am ending the relationship and am saying goodbye in person so I can also get his christmas present as well. We ended things over text. I would like to have a conversation with him about things. How on earth is that unhealthy?????

I was upset that he was still on the dating site -- but so be it -- he couldn't make a commitment yet. He never said to me he could not be exclusive with me when I brought it up. I ended things before he had a chance to answer me.

I just want to say goodbye in person and get my present. I don't see the issue here at all.

I am reading what you've said. You are not understanding me either, it seems. Yes, you are not seeing the issue right now. Why do you need his Christmas present if things are over? If things are over why make out with him and call that healthy?

Maybe we should both step back from this thread. I wish you the best with this situation.

I can't continue with this conversation or debate over this issue anymore with anyone. I just learned some news that is very upsetting and stressful for me, I am freaking out over it, and this is stressing me out even more. I am perfectly comfortable and happy with doing what I am doing and that's all that should really matter to people. The topic is no longer up for discussion or debate. I want to end the discussion, respectfully.

Sorry to hear that, Eve. Sounds like you're having a rough day.

Guys, on here people can only give advice to our fellow members, but not make decisions for them. Eve is a grown-up. You're expressing your care for her. But living through something is different to talking about it.

A good therapist wouldn't force their opinion on their client (hopefully). They'd wish them the best, and be there if things go wrong.

TY Purple! All great points.

And I do appreciate ppl caring about my well-being. That is not the issue.

You do, Eve. You've thanked people many times.

I hope you don't take a break from PC!

thanks...

Yes, I have I suppose you're right. I am taking a break. I need one. I cannot do this anymore right now.

OK, much love to you. See you around soon, I hope

TY! Much love back to you!!

You are a sweetheart and honestly I think people here are feeling protective over you. Nobody wants you to get hurt again. That being said I will support you in what you need to do. Hugs.

I think what you want is to feel like YOU are the one in control. This may be something you had failed to feel when it came to how your father treated you. I think you are getting triggered because you feel like others don't understand it when you say YOU took the initiative and YOU called this guy and it's YOUR choice to meet with him. After all, YOU were the one who cut out too, so to you that helps you feel like you are the one in control.

It's ok to be hurt or let down as long as YOU are the one that makes the decision to engage or not engage. You just need to know that you have the true power in the picture even when you know a person has flaws where they can use you for their own ego. People like that can be fun to be with, they can do fun things you like to do so why not? Right?

This guy already knows he is good looking, he already knows how to have fun too, he knows how to be a good sex partner and he knows not to say he can't commit too. He is a 'player". He knows how to also give a woman the sense that she is in control too. He is the type that tends to like to have a string of women who adore him that he can play with and if one walks away another one will come along. He has learned he can be prince charming and he likes to be that kind of "player".

Call him, go out with him if you wish and have fun, but, just allow yourself to know what he is.