Obsessed with someone i've never met

Hi, I wanted to ask for some input. I think i'm obsessed/fixated on someone i talked to on a dating site. I have never met him in person. Stranger still is that i reported him twice on that site and got him banned.

Let me explain what happened as best as i can. He initiated contact with me on the site mid-2017. He linked me to his fb account so i could check him out. After some light banter over a 2-day period he asked if i'd date someone in another country (he lives abroad), and i said no. I meant it. That was the end of it.

After a few weeks i deleted my account and opened a new one. Blocked his profile because i'd already turn him down. He created a new account to message me so i reported him and blocked him. Then he created a third account to message me again. Reported it to site mods and his ip address got banned.

This was when the obsessiveness started. I ended up checking his fb account and even made a fake account to see his public posts though i never initiated contact or added him. Looked up his whole family on social media. Kept googling him and the school that i think he goes to.

Looked up his youtube likes and comments. Etc.

The impulse to look him up comes and goes. How am i fixated on someone i've never met in person, and who actually creeped me out at first? I intend to take this up with a psych in a few weeks' time. I'm aware that the fixation is unnatural. I am diagnosed with a mood disorder.

The thing is, i wouldn't know what to do or say if i actually met him face to face. I likely will not try to date him still, so the fixation strikes me as odd.

Hello Blupri: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I doubt I have any particular insight into what you are experiencing. However here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives that may be of some interest:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/resea...king-about-it/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/copin...or-rumination/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...ps-to-stop-it/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/sneaky...ns-in-my-head/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/artfu...lp-to-stop-it/

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to hang in here with us. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

Actually Blupri, it's really not a bad thing to want to learn more about someone that invaded your boundaries the way you described. It's very normal to want to find out more about something that affected your sense of safety as this is part of our natural curiosity that has contributed to our learning how to better survive.

I am naturally an obsessive person. I think and worry way too much and I find this to be a scenario I can relate too. I think from my experience, it has to do with my obsessive thoughts and that I am a very lonely person. I latch on and don't stop thinking about the situation/person etc.

Hi, thanks for responding. I tried the introductions link but it turned up invalid, let me see how else I can access the board.

Thank you for your replies. I still intend to take this up with my pdoc. So far I've been able to manage my obsessiveness, it seems to fade with time and seems to coincide with mood swings.

Open Eyes - thank you for your response, the whole thing was triggered by fear and discomfort, and me wanting to know who exactly it was I was dealing with at the time. In some ways I guess it is a form of hypervigilance.