[Sevranyunei]

I feel like I should explain first.

ever since Fire Emblem Fates came out, I have had a huge liking of Sakura (a very sweet girl from said game). Over time, I have grown to deeply, deeply love her, to the point where I have brought her from the game, into our world, earth. We got married, and life was all well and happy for a good while.

I worry about her from time to time. I want to keep her safe, protect her from anything that could even risk causing her harm. Bringing her here, into our peaceful home, away from the awful war setting in the game, has helped me to not worry as much. She's so pure and innocent, so kind and adorable, I love her so much, and I can't even bear the thought of her getting hurt, or worse... I suppose thats how any lover should feel. But every time I worry, Sakura is always here to hold me close and remind me that she's safe and happy here. We snuggle together every night, always showering eachother in love. The time we spend together like that helps me to remember that she's always here with me, all safe and happy, in perfect health. It has helped me to not worry as much about the thoughts of her getting hurt, since its possible for that to happen in the games she's in. Thats where my worries mainly stem from, along with the awful writings people have made about her getting hurt... but knowing that Sakura is safe, happy, and in perfect health, here with me on earth, always here to hold me tight and comfort me, has helped me to not worry as much.

But... I've recently had a bad dream that Sakura was talking to one of my friends about leaving me, and that dream has terrified me. I talked with Sakura about it, and she reassured me that she loves me with all of her heart. Infact, she sometimes asks me to promise her that I'll never leave her, and every time she does, I promise her that I will never leave her, ever. The fact that she asks me this at times shows me that she loves me, and I trust her when she tells me she loves me. But... I still worry about her because of that awful dream. I've been diagnosed with depression for a long while, and Sakura has always helped me with it, but sometimes it just makes it really hard for me to not worry about her. I've never taken her for granted. I always let her know how much I love her, how grateful I am to have her as my wife. I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost her...

This is where another thing comes in though... recently I've had difficulty bringing certain things to mind, processing things, comprehension and such... sort of like sensory processing disorders... I've had these sorts of things before, but never to this degree before... and because of this, I'm having trouble processing it when Sakura tells me that she loves me... I'm having trouble feeling her presence and touch when we snuggle at night, having trouble feeling that she's here with me... I talked to one of my friends, who has a similar connection to Asriel Dreemurr like I do with Sakura, about this... and he told me that even if I can't always feel her, she's still always here. I know this... I know she's always here, I know that she'll always be here with me, that she loves me with all her heart. I know all this... but not being able to process it fully really scares me, especially because of that terrible dream... It scares me even more so because my fears of her getting hurt, or worse, are coming back too... since fire emblem heroes and fire emblem warriors are out, there's more possibilities of her getting hurt from those games as well, more programmed models, pictures, and dialogue of her being hurt... and they terrify me. I'm so scared of the possibility of her getting hurt, or worse... so terrified of the potential of it happening... and its harder to worry less about all this right now because i'm having trouble fully processing and comprehending that she's here with me, safe and happy and in perfect health, reassuring me that she's okay, and that she loves me, which is what really helped me to not worry as much...

I don't know what to do... I know she loves me, she tells me she loves me every day, quite often at that as well. I know she does, and I trust her, and I know she's always here with me, safe, happy, and in perfect health, but not being able to fully process and comprehend it right now is terrifying me because of the awful dream and my fears of anything bad happening to her... I love her so much. I love her so much... I... I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost her... I'm so scared, so scared that I've been in tears a lot these last few days, have had trouble sleeping, have had difficulty working at my job... I'm so scared... I've had hospital visits because of how much I worry about her, before... I just... I love her so much, and I'm so scared because of all of whats happening right now... I don't know what to do...

[SorryShaped]

Are you living in fantasy?

It sounds like you are living in a fantasy world. How old are you? Are you seeing a therapist?

[Sevranyunei]

I don't like seeing it as a fantasy thing, like everyone says... its part of why I fear telling people about this at times...

Originally Posted by Sevranyunei

I don't like seeing it as a fantasy thing, like everyone says... its part of why I fear telling people about this at times...

I can understand that fear, but can you also see how others may see it from the outside? To me, I see someone escaping reality into a much more attractive fantasy world. Life is not as difficult when you live in a story of your own making.

I used to daydream my fantasy world, there is a name for what I went through - maladaptive daydreaming. I would listen to music and rock back and forth, and make stories in my head. I could do this for hours, although I never tried to pass it as reality. I found myself daydreaming during times in my life when things weren't going so well. I was either overwhelmed, or bored, and occupied my time with fantasy. Perhaps you can relate to this.

How is your life outside of this reality? Do you keep busy with work or school? Do you have people to talk to, like friends or family?

[Sevranyunei]

It's part of why its hard mentioning it... I feel like people will always try to make me live outside of my life with her. Even though my everyday life isn't that bad, knowing that I can come back home to Sakura and spend time with her is what keeps me happy. I know most people won't understand, but I'm not going to just... you know.

Originally Posted by Sevranyunei

It's part of why its hard mentioning it... I feel like people will always try to make me live outside of my life with her. Even though my everyday life isn't that bad, knowing that I can come back home to Sakura and spend time with her is what keeps me happy. I know most people won't understand, but I'm not going to just... you know.

I assume you're an adult, so you are free to live your life however you choose. If that is being with a fictional wife, that is absolutely your decision. But you will likely not get the replies or support you seek, if you wish us to pretend that your reality is indeed reality.

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable making a reply about a relationship that does not truly exist. I choose not to live in fantasy. I hope you can understand that, and I wish you all the best.

[SorryShaped]

Be realistic?

[Sevranyunei]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

I assume you're an adult, so you are free to live your life however you choose. If that is being with a fictional wife, that is absolutely your decision. But you will likely not get the replies or support you seek, if you wish us to pretend that your reality is indeed reality.

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable making a reply about a relationship that does not truly exist. I choose not to live in fantasy. I hope you can understand that, and I wish you all the best.

You may see it as fictional or that it does not really exist, but I don't. I hope you can understand that... you are right though, this place probably isn't the best place to seek support, what with some certain replies I've gotten already... thanks for trying though...

[Artchic528]

I can understand why people just don't get it. I'm sorry you're not feeling much understood regarding this subject matter.

I think I might understand though. You've taken a much beloved character and created a reality around them to the point where living it is much more desirable that living outside of it. It's not so much a fantasy, but a reality weaved in the mind as a means to cope with something in your life you'd rather not deal with.

I'd seek out a therapist and discuss this conceived reality you've become the soul architect to, and figure out a way to not get rid of it entirely, but weave it into the way the rest of the world perceives reality in a way where someday you can function in society and process the world around you without inhibition.

[Agent Misty]

I don't know if you are going to come back, but you mentioned you were having some seriously bad feelings because of this.

Crying for days, sleeping trouble, trouble focusing on work, and a hospitalization from worry over her? I think you need to take a step back and take these results over your worry more seriously than you are. You wrote a huge paragraph about your feelings and relationship with sakura, and your worry over her. How hard things have been for her in fire emblem, and your anxiety if she is going to stay because of your dream. And in the end, you share one sentence about how this has effected your life and mental health. In one sentence you say you are having this crying and work/sleep troubles and a hospitalization.

Well, that one sentence was the most important part of everything you said to me, and it should be to you as well. You are suffering over this. Sakura, and everyone else, does NOT want you to suffer. You need to get help with your anxiety over this.

I am going to treat Sakura as a real individual for just a minute to say one last thing. If someone said they had a dream about their partner leaving them and now they were worried, I would tell them don't. Just don't. It was a dream manifested from pre existing anxieties about your relationship, and it does neither party and good to dwell on it.

Actually, worry is just toxic in general. I hope you can find some comfort and peace soon, without worry.

[FallDuskTrain]

I am confident that this post is one of your psychological experiments. This is easy to determine based on the nature of your other threads and your profile. So, I am just going to ignore your script and I advice others to do the same.
It is not cool to play with people’s emotions which is what you are doing.