My nephew unfriended me on Facebook???

My brother blocked me on Facebook. I have no idea why and I just assume it comes down to self care. That's why I unfriend people. If you are upset don't waste time speculating, just ask him. It may not even be what you think it is.

Awwww, that is awful. I am sorry to hear it. Maybe I WILL ask him. I am not sure. I'll think on it. HUGS.

I like the idea of asking what's up with the unfriending.

So What if you told him to live it up? Can he not just politely say thanks, then add but that's not his lifestyle? It was wishing him well.

Unfriending sounds upsetting. But I really don’t understand needing to wish happy birthday on Facebook. You can call or text or email or visit or take him out. I don’t understand why happy birthday must be on Facebook? Are you upset that others would notice you didn’t wish him happy birthday or upset you cannot wish it (which is easy to fix outside of Facebook). I just don’t grasp the Facebook issue. Now if he refuses to talk to you in real life, then it’s truly is upsetting.

AGREED. TY!

Yes unfriending IS upsetting, but you're misunderstanding. I had posted earlier that I missed his bday celebration yesterday with my family. He lives in another state and is long distance. I have never called him ever... we are not super close, we have never hung out together 1:1, so a facebook message and a card/gift in the mail was my approach this year since I missed the celebration. I texted him today instead and he responded. I also use facebook every day... I am on frequently and use it to message people/friends/family members. It is how many people communicate these days.

I didn’t know that’s how many people communicate these days. Lol just kidding.

It’s just if you two aren’t close and never call each other and likely don’t know much about each other, then I’d personally try to have more closeness with him in real life, and less about Facebook. Maybe I am wrong on this but that’s how I’d approach it. My husband and I just laugh at Facebook escapades-he has some bizarre family members getting into it. Taking it seriously causes people too much drama and chaos and pain.

I am glad he responded via text. So ask him how school is going. My older nephew struggled a bit first year in college (he is a very successful engineer now) so hearing from concerned aunt and maybe some valid advice would be helpful to build up closeness (my older nephew doesn’t listen to advice much- he just would out of politeness, but middle one listens and asks for suggestions). So you never know.

But I digress. Good luck

Hmmm, you say nephew so this is a sibling's child? A sibling that married someone like your father possibly who has a problem with boundaries?

LOL. I didn't mean it that way. I do ask him in person how he's doing and how school is, etc. I show that I care and am concerned. Last week I saw him and we talked about him applying to transfer to another school, so we do have conversations. But I can always try to establish more of a connection. Honestly, I've been waiting for all of them to grow up more because they can be very immature boys which is annoying, lol. And thank you for the suggestions.

YES. She married an abusive narcissist who knows no boundaries whatsoever.

Well, then your nephew is sensitive and the only thing he knows how to do right now is unfriend anyone that rubs him the wrong way. That's become a trend now with this facebook and the younger generation his age.

It's also important to keep in mind that when someone grows up under the influence of a narcissist, they can learn to use some of the behaviors this narcissistic parent used and narcissists are famous for "cutting people off" when they are not getting their needs met or their self esteem built up. Also, if he is just a freshman in college, he still has some insecure narcissism himself because that simply where his maturity level is at right now at his age.

Yes, he is sensitive and is probably more messed up than I even know or am aware.

Good points about narcs cutting people out. He very well may mirror some of his dad's behavior! And yes, he is still young.

Maybe he IS going to party it up but doesn't want family knowing

Try not to read to much into it. If he’s living with narcissistic parents who knows how he might react to a well meaning message. I agree with those who suggested that you ask him directly. I’m not at all discounting the hurt that you felt by his actions. I would be hurt too. But we all do hurtful things sometimes

Hehe. My whole entire family is SO down on the party scene that they have completely discouraged him from even venturing down that path. Perhaps he IS and is hiding it as you suggested! Ha -- but it wouldn't explain him unfriending me.

TY! I haven't seen you in a while! Nice to see you again.

Yes, he likely overreacted and is in a bad place emotionally. I will consider asking directly, but it could be very awkward for both of us.

I don’t think what you said was bad. I wouldn’t consider myself a party-go so I would of just took your message and moved on. But, your nephew might have unfriended just because you’re family. I don’t think he’s trying to shut you out or anything but rather he’s a young adult that might post things that he wouldn’t want his family to see. I wouldn’t suggest you talk about it again. You’ve already apologized so there’s no need to talk about it again. It may make you seem obsessive. You don’t NEED to be friends with your nephew on Facebook. Unfriending you doesn’t equal cutting you off/hating you. If you want to talk to him just text and call instead. Unless he’s specifically said he doesn’t want to be in contact with you anymore there’s nothing to worry about.

TY so much for your post and perspective! You're absolutely right -- there IS no need for us to be friends on FB, he has not cut me off or out and he is a young adult in college. TY. This really helps!!

Golden,
Don't let it bother you. My husband's cousin just deletes his account when he gets angry because someone doesn't agree with him and that happens three times a month. He even announces he is leaving and then comes back not 2 or 3 later. It's ridiculous!

Oay, so I just read an admission you two aren't close. I can't understand why this is mattering to you. Just accept the fact that he for whatever reason chooses not to include you in his inner social circle. Going to such great lengths to be so upset and wishing to turn this around is concerning. This is almost reaching stalking proportions. Just move beyond this. Again, if you weren't close to begin with this should not be upsetting you so much. A phonecall would have sufficed.

TY! I feel better now about it than I did at first, especially given some of the points made on here about him not being stable and being young, etc etc.

Sorry, but where the heck do you get off telling me this is near stalking proportion????? HOW have I stalked him IN THE LEAST BIT?????

Your post is not only judgemental and unsupportive, but it is completely offensive and unappreciated. I am SO sick of people being this way here on PC. It makes me want to leave this forum altogether!!

In fact, I am far too happy in life to even be here anymore. Screw it. I am SO done.

I don’t think you are stalking him (and other poster said “almost” not that you are stalking) but being so upset about Facebook is a bit concerning (not upset over lack of relationship with your family member but inability to post on his Facebook page). I think people are just trying to help you to get over Facebook drama and put it in perspective.

Yes people have helped but that post did not help and now you’re defending it when you yourself said it’s uosetting to be unfriended. I have a right to my feelings. My feelings are my feelings. To tell me to not be upset is not helpful.

Just forget it. I am not being understood. Many do understand. No need for this to continue. I am over it. Thank u to all those who have helped!

There is such a thing called a supportive criticism which namely is an attempt to get a person to see and acknowledge that their point of view and actions might be hurting them. This was entirely my suggestion. I see something concerning, and in an effort to actually be helpful, have made an attempt to point this out. Being supportive is not necessarily the offering of hugs and agreement. Being supportive is also encouraging someone to look at alternate sides to an issue and pointing out for acknowledgement that one's thinking might be flawed.

I stress that when one posts a thread, they do so at the risk of garnering varying responses including those of disagreement. This is what creating a discussion is about. This is how discourse works. If it is your mindset to not have points of iew counter to your own then perhaps creating a thread in the first place might not be a good idea.

Back to the matter at hand... yes, I do feel strongly that you are obsessed about this. Yes I do believe it has reached unhealthy proportions. I suggest you talk to a professional about this.