Like among friends or colleagues. By care, I mean genuinely wanting to know how you're doing and/or helping you in your hard times. Maybe they care in a different way than family but idk bc I rarely ever experienced that. I mean I have but then they stop caring eventually.

Do other people also have no one to care about them?

[carcrashonrepeat]

Originally Posted by ruby2011

Like among friends or colleagues. By care, I mean genuinely wanting to know how you're doing and/or helping you in your hard times. Maybe they care in a different way than family but idk bc I rarely ever experienced that. I mean I have but then they stop caring eventually.

Do other people also have no one to care about them?

Yes, outside of family, people can care for one another. That type of bond is based on establishing trust, kindness, respect, and understanding. This all takes time to develop.

But they don't have to care, specifically colleagues. Their priorities while at work are to fulfill their roles, complete their assignments, and help create a team-oriented atmosphere where they can be considered dependable. They may express care for the sake of keeping the flow of operations running smoothly. And that is okay.

I would think part of what makes someone a friend is that they do care about you. Otherwise, they wouldn't be much of a friend.

[seesaw]

I do not have many close friends. And honestly my family doesn't do much for me as a whole. My mother and stepfather are amazing, but every one else, including my bio father is horrid.

Colleagues? No, they don't help me. And I don't expect them to. They only know me because we work together. They are under no obligation to befriend me or "help in hard times." In fact, that would be asking quite a lot of someone who you merely know because you happened to be hired by the same employer.

I think you need to realign your expectation of what a relationship with a coworker is. Here are some definitions for you:

Family: people related by blood. Typically love is felt in these relationships due to the blood bonds.

Friends: people you know through mutual interest. Fully developed personal relationships in which the person knows a lot about you, may also know your family and other friends. Emotional bonds are cultivated, often love as strong or stronger than family.

Acquaintance: someone you know casually because they happen to be in the same circles as you, but you don't really know them personally. No emotional bond had been cultivated.

Co-worker/colleague: Someone you work with. You know/met them because by coincidence you work for the same employer. There is no emotional bond here. They are friendly because it is easier to get through the work day if they are civil and polite rather than rude or cold.

Ruby, you seem to confuse co-worker/colleagues with friends.

Yes, people outside your family can care for you and help you. When I got sick, I lived far from home and friends and even very caring acquaintances reached out and helped me out of the kindness of their own hearts. I am still touched today by the kindness exhibited to me by one person who I only knew through a class we took together. But remember that friendships are cultivated. They do not simply exist because you met someone and talked to them.

Try to think of the people you know in terms of these definitions and see where they fall.

Seesaw

What about work friends? Yes there is such a term. They're people who are very close at work and prolly worked together a long time. They walk and joke around like hell, but they don't hang out outside of work.

My former fast food supervisor has someone like that. They used to work together at another fast food joint since the mid 90's. My supervisor was already GM and her work friend eventually became GM. Then they both quit that place a few years ago in favor of their current company. Her work friend was actually the one that hired me. A month later, she got promoted to corporate office and got replaced by the person I came to "look up to."

I asked her if that lady is her best friend. She said hell yeah. Then I asked if they hang out outside of work. She said no they don't.

A light bulb went on inside my head. Work friend.

[carcrashonrepeat]

Originally Posted by ruby2011

What about work friends? Yes there is such a term. They're people who are very close at work and prolly worked together a long time. They walk and joke around like hell, but they don't hang out outside of work.

My former fast food supervisor has someone like that. They used to work together at another fast food joint since the mid 90's. My supervisor was already GM and her work friend eventually became GM. Then they both quit that place a few years ago in favor of their current company. Her work friend was actually the one that hired me. A month later, she got promoted to corporate office and got replaced by the person I came to "look up to."

I asked her if that lady is her best friend. She said hell yeah. Then I asked if they hang out outside of work. She said no they don't.

A light bulb went on inside my head. Work friend.

Everyone defines "best friend" on their own terms. Maybe this lady doesn't have many close friends and thus, her coworker is her best friend.

At the end of the day, they are still coworkers. They still have to act appropriately and adhere to company policies and guidelines.

If you google the term 'work friend,' there are several websites that make it clear there is a big difference between a friend and a work friend, and if a relationship fits in the latter then you need to respect boundaries, remain professional, and remember that your priority is your work.

With regards to your OP, they may care about each other but that happens organically and by its nature is complex because they are work friends. It isn't forced, nor does it or should take precedence over their roles within a company.

[divine1966]

Yes people certainly can care about others who are not family. I care for several people who I am not related to, close friends for example.

I have coworkers who are also my friends outside of with sgch as I see them outside of work hours, and I have coworkers who I am on very friendly terms but don’t see them outside of work. I have a coworker who i talk on the phone on occasion and we wouldn’t mind seeing each other in free time but time and distance makes it hard. So it all depends. There are variety of relationships in the world. Some are hard to define

I have to add that family members are not always blood related. Familial bonds aren’t always due to blood relation.

[12AM]

Apart from my core family, the rest of them are just blood related strangers to me. So I care about my friends more than I care about them as my friends are the people that I chosed to be in my life.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by ruby2011

What about work friends? Yes there is such a term. They're people who are very close at work and prolly worked together a long time. They walk and joke around like hell, but they don't hang out outside of work.

My former fast food supervisor has someone like that. They used to work together at another fast food joint since the mid 90's. My supervisor was already GM and her work friend eventually became GM. Then they both quit that place a few years ago in favor of their current company. Her work friend was actually the one that hired me. A month later, she got promoted to corporate office and got replaced by the person I came to "look up to."

I asked her if that lady is her best friend. She said hell yeah. Then I asked if they hang out outside of work. She said no they don't.

A light bulb went on inside my head. Work friend.

Why still hung up on this former supervisor?

Why analyze her life? Why not go make your own life stories?

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Yes people certainly can care about others who are not family. I care for several people who I am not related to, close friends for example.

I have coworkers who are also my friends outside of with sgch as I see them outside of work hours, and I have coworkers who I am on very friendly terms but don’t see them outside of work. I have a coworker who i talk on the phone on occasion and we wouldn’t mind seeing each other in free time but time and distance makes it hard. So it all depends. There are variety of relationships in the world. Some are hard to define

I have to add that family members are not always blood related. Familial bonds aren’t always due to blood relation.

True, Divine, about family. I apologize for over simplifying. Of course it's not always blood bonds. People marry, adopt, or simply form family cohorts outside of conventional meanings. I was just trying to give a simple definition to help the OP see the differences. Left out some important details in the process.

Work friends are still just coworkers, imo. I think it's possible that some people can be multiple things, like I have coworkers who are also friends. But if I call someone a work friend, it just means they are a coworker whom I happen to enjoy talking to more than other coworkers. It's someone you get through the day with, not someone you rely on. Imo.

Also, friends can be family and family may not always be friends.

[chrissyh23]

Originally Posted by seesaw

True, Divine, about family. I apologize for over simplifying. Of course it's not always blood bonds. People marry, adopt, or simply form family cohorts outside of conventional meanings. I was just trying to give a simple definition to help the OP see the differences. Left out some important details in the process.

Work friends are still just coworkers, imo. I think it's possible that some people can be multiple things, like I have coworkers who are also friends. But if I call someone a work friend, it just means they are a coworker whom I happen to enjoy talking to more than other coworkers. It's someone you get through the day with, not someone you rely on. Imo.

Also, friends can be family and family may not always be friends.

A family is made up of only people who they have mingled with or has mingled with before. A persons true family is that one family neighbor that is always there whatever it is you need. Its the person you just met or the homeless people you see everyday. Make your family what you want and cherish every single one.

So I stopped crying over every little things at work. Today, I only cried once whereas before, I cried multiple times in a day. And I only cried in the back room today bc of rude customer. I ran to a coworker who I used to call momma and my tears immediately dried. btw, I didn't call her momma today.

When my napkins fell onto the floor, I managed not to cry. I was so glad of such progress that I told my coworker. She went, "Good job!" I didn't call her nurse today like I used to.

On both occasions my coworkers seemed to give a ****. I like it when ppl give a ****. Maybe eventually, as I slowly get back to emotional maturity, my coworkers will help get me there. I'll put in efforts too. My family don't give a damn ne more tho.

[Taylor27]

The fact that you are aware of how you reacted at work today shows me that you are aware how you act. I think that is a good step in the right direction. The you show maturity people will want to be around you because you are taking charge of your life. It really makes a big difference when you take on being more responsiblity for your life. Im pretty your therapist has told you this or is helping you see this.

Btw, r u the Cheryl I used to work with at that fast food? If so, hi! If not, sorry for bothering u like this lol.

[scorpiosis37]

Originally Posted by ruby2011

Maybe eventually, as I slowly get back to emotional maturity, my coworkers will help get me there. I'll put in efforts too. My family don't give a damn ne more tho.

It’s good that you are crying less at work. It’s also important to understand that it isn’t your co-workers’ responsibility to help you become emotionally mature. In fact, looking to them to help with this is the very definition of emotional IMmaturity. This is something you have to do on your own. While a family should help young children with this, it is also no longer your family’s job now that you are 29 years old. Many of us on the forum never had families to help at all growing up— yet we taught ourselves these skills because we had to. It is very possible to learn this on your own. I’m not sure how you’ve kept jobs for very long with these behaviors, but you won’t stay at a job much longer if you are crying and asking your co-workers to comfort you instead of focus on work. It’s inappropriate and they will eventually wear out.

[Taylor27]

Originally Posted by ruby2011

Btw, r u the Cheryl I used to work with at that fast food? If so, hi! If not, sorry for bothering u like this lol.

No, thats my nick name. I have never worked at a fast food place ever. No you are not bothering me not at all.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by ruby2011

Btw, r u the Cheryl I used to work with at that fast food? If so, hi! If not, sorry for bothering u like this lol.

I advice you against asking if you know people on here in real life. I recommend you PM people with such questions. Most people want to remain anonymous here