All sorts of relationships..

Lately all types of relationships have been taking a major impact on my functioning. I feel like I lack attraction to everybody I'm unsure why that is. I stay in a relationship right now due to the fear of being alone even though I don't enjoy it. I also am in a bunch of horrible friendships. I've lost 3 friends of 12 years because I'm just bad. All my friends find someone more exciting or relatable and replace me even after all that time. I know people only like me due to the mere exposure effect of me being around. No one enjoys talking to me, hanging out with me (they'd rather sleep), they replace me, I'm always there for their problems but once its mine they throw me out, etc. It's not just one bad friend its every single person I've met in my lifetime. I feel so bad like I'm messing up or socially awkward, even regret what I say. I don't know why I'm not likeable? It even brings down my esteem, maybe its my appearance? Even when im friendly and go up to randoms and chat with them at school they immediately get up and move away...

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I can relate, somewhat. Can I ask, how old are you? (you can give a range). I'm 34 and I haven't felt like you described since high school. Anyone of any age can feel this way, and you should seek professional help, but I believe TRUE friends are hard to find and this MAY be just a phase for you. You'll find those you click with! Try developing your own interests and hobbies (as opposed to just always joining others). And, assuming they're legal and non-hurtful hobbies, stick by your choices and defend them.

In high school, I was soooo into anime. I still sort of am. I never once said it was "weird" or "dorky" like other people, because I focused on what I liked so much about it: the theme songs lifted my spirits, characters I could relate to showed me how life could get better, and I learned about Japanese culture along the way which paid off when I went to Japan!

It'll get better. Have hope.

Did these friends even bother to give specific wrongdoings so that you can either right your wrongs or move forward with a sense of closure?

If you haven't directly been addressed, then how can you be expected to know where to begin a moral inventory? If they haven't been direct then it's as much their shortcoming than anything.

I relate to this a lot. Please try not to lose hope. I know it's very difficult, though.

"Even when im friendly and go up to randoms and chat with them at school they immediately get up and move away..."

I don't think this has anything to do with you. Based upon my experience, very few people enjoy talking to random strangers unless they're in certain places that are good for that, like an interest group, club, or social gathering of some sort. You might have better luck at such a place.

I'm a little bit confused here. The way you frame it, it's as though people just toss you away all the time but then in the beginning of your post you state that 3 of them were 12 yr long friendships so.. that kind of contradicts what you're saying here.. If you could elaborate a bit.

I mean if you've kept some of these friends as long as a decade or more, it seems to me not everyone is just dumping you but I kind of feel like its more like a string of friends recently have done that and it may seem like everyone is leaving you which I am not about to minimize, that's hard

Keep in mind if you've had friends like those for that long, you are absolutely not unlikeable but things do change over time and friends do drift, leave, have falling outs, etc.. and that is true in relationships that at one point were good too.

They want you only so they can spill their bads. Don't be that kind of person. Get away from them as much as possible
They will probably discard you once they find out they can't spill their bads at you, don't worry about it. It's all about them and what they are looking for in a friend, rather than about you