[yagr]

My wife and I separated at the end of October. I became busy with survival issues immediately - my health is poor and I was homeless throughout most of the Winter. The physical stress led to two (more) heart attacks, two bouts of the flu and eventually pneumonia. Psychologically, I became as unstable as I've ever been - a well managed dissociative disorder suddenly became unmanageable and I've been struggling with the worst case of depression I've ever had...and I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder for the better part of thirty years refusing meds. I agreed to start meds two weeks ago for the first time - so that kind of bad. A couple of months ago I secured housing and have been gaining some strength back...trying to concentrate on me. I got a text message this morning at 11:37am:

Thought you should know that our divorce is final.

Didn't even know I was in the middle of a divorce. Came as quite a shock.

[Zygomycosis]

Dang man. It seems like you can't catch a break. It's horrible to hear that you've gone through so many unfortunate events. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, and that it seems like life keeps kicking you down. I hope things get better.

[eskielover]

I am surprised because if she could text you that the divorce was final she could have texted you that she was filung for divorce & needed to know the location to serve the papers.

For my divorce it was required that they make every effort to have the person served with the divorce petition. Only if they can't be located or they refuse to respond can they go ahead with the divorce.

Sorry this hit you in this way.

[healingme4me]

Sorry you've been through the metaphorical ringer.

I agree with Eskie about surprise. Then....I had another thought on it. Is it a ruse to draw you back in? I mean, she texts that it's final...you call with surprise and bam..back to talking about wanting to stay together, etc etc etc?

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this.

[divine1966]

Can one even do that if you were never informed? You said she was messaging you on everywhere including on PC and she never said she filed for divorce?

[TishaBuv]

I’m so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I recall many posts of yours where you have talked of your wife so fondly.

[yagr]

Originally Posted by eskielover

I am surprised because if she could text you that the divorce was final she could have texted you that she was filung for divorce & needed to know the location to serve the papers.

For my divorce it was required that they make every effort to have the person served with the divorce petition. Only if they can't be located or they refuse to respond can they go ahead with the divorce.

Well, I was homeless - probably hard to check every street corner in the second largest city in the state. To be honest, she might have left me a message (text or voicemail) that she was filing but frankly, I didn't read or listen to her messages after the first hundred or so. They went from pleading to cussing me out and everything in between, listening to them hurt me and there was the practical side of it - my phone only gets 250 minutes a month and she left me more than 250 minutes a month worth of voicemails. I needed the minutes to try and find services.

The other possibility is that the rules were ignored. We lived on her reservation, her cousin has served as a judge as well as a Tribal Council member and if he chose to help her he would sign off on anything and it would not be questioned.

[yagr]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Sorry you've been through the metaphorical ringer.

I agree with Eskie about surprise. Then....I had another thought on it. Is it a ruse to draw you back in? I mean, she texts that it's final...you call with surprise and bam..back to talking about wanting to stay together, etc etc etc?

I thought of this too, but I don't think I'll ever know.

[yagr]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I’m so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I recall many posts of yours where you have talked of your wife so fondly.

Thanks, and I still will talk about her fondly. She is a wonderful woman, she just has no idea how to do life and is too afraid to learn.

((((Yagr)))) I'm so sorry you had gone through all that. I remember you saying that you and wife had separated, and that she was being loco towards you and stressing you out. I am SO glad that you got housing, are gaining your strength back, and are working on doing you and healing.

[Erebos]

I am so sorry man, that just doesn't seem fair at all.
Afraid I know nothing about divorce proceedings but I do believe you have to sign something or be proven unable or unwilling. Even then I don't think it's that straightforward.

However I am sure this is something you don't have the energy to look into just now.So don't.

It's not going anywhere, and it's doubtful she will go far.
I really hope you can focus on yourself,and put what strength you have into getting better.

Take care Yagr.