[LaraR4444]

I've never had any real discussion about co-dependency in therapy, just like a one-off question to see if I recognized that I was doing something with no explanation of what it meant or anything. I haven't been able to get much therapy period.

I have problems that seem to be co-dependency, but I'm not sure.

I blame myself for things that are wrong with others that I know, like if someone's hurting, it's either my fault or I should be able to fix it. I've spent years trying to accept that if someone's upset, they can be upset for dozens of reasons that have nothing to do with me. And that I don't have the wisdom or power to do anything other than try to be supportive.

I'm not sure I've ever had romantic feelings about someone that didn't involve some sense of "saving" them. Trying real hard to learn otherwise, current crush is helping.

If someone is mad, upset, or anxious, I get that way too.

I try to "fix" everything, people, my jobs, the world. I worked in a crooked business for years thinking my presence somehow was going to fix it. It was a whole restaurant! What was I gonna do? Manage it so well that I made up for or changed the owners and everyone else who worked there?

I'm not expecting a diagnosis, just comments about whether others do these things or whatever someone wants to share.

[ShadowGX]

I've been there for sure. Eventually what fixed it for me what getting hurt very badly and I decided at that point that I would not try so hard to fix people anymore. Me caring too much got me used and hurt and I still have a hard time trusting anyone because of it. Still, when someone I do care about is hurting, I find it hard not to feel bad too because I just want to make it better. I'm very careful with who I care that much for now though.

[Ylba]

Originally Posted by LaraR4444

I've never had any real discussion about co-dependency in therapy, just like a one-off question to see if I recognized that I was doing something with no explanation of what it meant or anything. I haven't been able to get much therapy period.

I have problems that seem to be co-dependency, but I'm not sure.

I blame myself for things that are wrong with others that I know, like if someone's hurting, it's either my fault or I should be able to fix it. I've spent years trying to accept that if someone's upset, they can be upset for dozens of reasons that have nothing to do with me. And that I don't have the wisdom or power to do anything other than try to be supportive.

I'm not sure I've ever had romantic feelings about someone that didn't involve some sense of "saving" them. Trying real hard to learn otherwise, current crush is helping.

If someone is mad, upset, or anxious, I get that way too.

I try to "fix" everything, people, my jobs, the world. I worked in a crooked business for years thinking my presence somehow was going to fix it. It was a whole restaurant! What was I gonna do? Manage it so well that I made up for or changed the owners and everyone else who worked there?

I'm not expecting a diagnosis, just comments about whether others do these things or whatever someone wants to share.

I definitely struggle with codependency. I'm working on it right now by attending CoDA meetings and working the steps.

Learning to let go of my desire to control others.