[palerefraction]

I feel like a lot of relationships I have (romantic, friends, coworkers) aren't healthy or have dimensions they shouldn't have. it's often an issue in my romantic life and has been brought up by multiple partners and people around me. I have a hard time distinguishing between "appropriate" and "too far".

what are my options to correct these issues? I've seen therapists but none of them have really addressed this issue. is there counseling? am I on my own? I have a relationship now I'm trying very hard to keep healthy and happy. any thoughts and insight is appreciated

[Aviza]

I think you probably don't define boundaries well. A therapist could help you with skills on doing that. There are also classes like dbt that help with that. Learning how to set boundaries will keep your relationship healthy. It's a weakness of mine that's how i was able to identify it.

[ShadowGX]

I too struggle with boundaries, so it's important that I find friends and significant others who are willing to vocalize their boundaries and understand that my intention is never to hurt them, to just be straight with me when I'm doing something wrong. I wonder if your current relationship would be willing to do that for you if you brought it up?

As far as help defining boundaries, I'm not really sure, but you could try to find a different therapist who maybe specializes in social disorders who may know some tips and tricks that some others might not think of.

[palerefraction]

Thank you both. I've been wanting to do dbt and cbt for a long while now, I'm waiting to stabilize financially. I also just moved so I have to re-establish my support system.

thankfully my boyfriend is very understanding and rational. without me promoting he was looking into my MI's to try and understand where I'm coming from and how I see things. it is a very sweet gesture and I count myself very lucky.

finding someone who specializes is a good idea! I will look for one where I live now.

[eskielover]

I have a hard time distinguishing between "appropriate" and "too far".

It might be also understanding other peoples boundaries or just what is appropriate when no boundaries are even specified.

DBT has a section specificially for Interpersonal Effectiveness. After growing up in the environment I did & being married in a very similar environment where communication was so dysfunctional.....this section was very valuable to me.