[AAA11]

Hi, i am divorced as my ex wife had unusual behaviour like: getting anger rages for small things wheñ things do not go her way,verbal and physical abuse which she does not remember she did when in anger rage,manupulative,no empathy for whatever we do,over hygenic ,lying,flip flop ,feels like a sea saw with her mood once good the next moment angry,self centered ,insecure though she also has positives like mature person,strong in character and will power,takes care of my needs like when i am sick, Cooking and giving hygenic food,she is very controlling but does tell me good habits to follow and live in a better way,not too much money centered,not materialistic, does show concern for me.i am in contact with her as meet her after divorce also, she says her anger will stay ànd does not want to take any treatment as she says she is perfect.her parents also deny she has any problem,i have compassion for her still in my heart even after being divorced after 10 months,should i marry her again as i always think of her(abusive relationship lasted only 3 months and abuse is not on my mind nor i am used to it but still i have compassion for my ex so that she can live a better life) ? how do i set boundaries with my ex ?Please suggest....thanks?

Um. I don't suggest remarrying an abusive partner. She will not change. You even mention physical abuse. Abuse typically and statistically escalates and worsens over time. You got out for a good reason. Stay the course and do not remarry. It would be a HUGE mistake. That's my suggestion. Not sure why you would even consider going back to someone who is abusive. Are you in counseling? Perhaps a therapist would help you at this time.

[CantExplain]

I can't remember a single instance of a remarriage working out.

PS: I do, however, know several examples of a relationship being saved before divorce.

No. Don’t do it.

[healingme4me]

Have you taken any time away from being contact with her since divorce?

Divorce is a painful process. Time to heal and recover is necessary.

Over time, you may come to realize that pining for what you had dreamed you could have with her was a fallacy. Take time to grieve and be gentle with yourself.

Sounds like you may be in a mental space of being willing to settle for table scraps and breadcrumbs?

[Deejay14]

You divorced her for a reason. She has not made any changes. It has only been ten months. It takes awhile to get over divorce. Give yourself more time. Makes no sense to go back into a bad situation which was miserable enough for you to divorce. The leopard did not change her spots!

No. Your post focuses on what's best for her. No where did you say it would be best for you. Dont sacrifice your happiness for someone else. It will never last.

[~Christina]

Ex’s are Ex’s for a reason if it didn’t work the first time it’s very unlikely to work a second go around.