[smorgabordagan]

So I feel as if I’m not important to my family (I live with them currently). My mother, specifically, can be inconsiderate. Whenever she is hurting and I need her to help me do something, she’ll get some rest instead, which is fine. However, she does this every time she hurts. Since I can’t drive yet, I need her to take me places (ex. shopping for school supplies). Every time I request she take me somewhere, she says the same thing, “I’m hurting, so I can’t. Maybe tomorrow?” The next day, she says it again, and the next day, and the next. It makes me feel like I can’t trust her to meet my needs. I want to confront her about it, but I’m not sure what to say. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Any ideas?

[Bill3]

One possibility is to think about whether there might be other people who could take you where you need to be. Does anyone else come to mind?

Are you saying that your mom actually cannot help you, due to her pain? Or do you mean that she could help but chooses not to?

I’m really sorry that you have these obstacles to getting things that you need.

[healingme4me]

You mention living with family in a plural sense. Who becomes your's and your mom's caregiver when she isn't able to participate in daily activities such as school supply shopping? Is she under the care of a doctor?

[Travelinglady]

I'm wondering, too, by what she means by hurting. Does she have a medical problem? Honestly, she might actually be in so much pain that she's just not up to helping you. In that case, I wouldn't think she's "inconsiderate."

Is there anything you can do to help her when she's in pain, assuming it's a real problem? I suggest you ask what you can do and see what she says. And can she afford to pay someone to take you places when she's not up to it? Make sure you tell her when you really need to get out, like to get school supplies and see what she says about that.