Does anyone stay faithful?

In my mid 40s, I've only 'been with' 4 people. I have a STRONG belief and ideal of staying faithful but not ONE of my relationship partners have remained faithful to me. My most current relationship was the worst... she was cheated on by her ex on several occasions and even divorced him because of it. So, I figured who better to be with than someone who has experienced the pain/emotional struggle of being cheated on? Well, it turns out that she cheated on me for 5+ years (sometimes openly!). So, while I'm batting 100% in my ability to find unfaithful partners, it's not exactly the success rate I'm proud of...

I'm inexperienced with relationships but I for sure would. I can't see any reason why, if I really loved someone and was happy with them, that I would need to hurt them by doing that. I'm sorry you have dealt with this so much. Hopefully you can find someone someday.

In the meantime, dogs are very faithful companions, if you don't have one, that might be worth looking into for some company

I'd love the dog suggestion, but one attacked my son so I'm leary to get one again. Just want sure if my views of faithfulness and relationships was antiquated. In an age where it is common to resort to an app or date service to 'hook up' and get dates, it seems being faithful, or even committed to someone these days, is an after thought.

Being faithful and committed is still a healthy personality trait IMHO. I’m surprised how prevalent cheating is. Definitely keep looking for a faithful person. My guess is maybe you can date a different type of person in a different social scene. Maybe the right person for you is someone you wouldn’t have previously been interested in or thought of as your type. That was the case for me when I found my hubby.

Definitely going to try SOMETHING different. I withdrew from the 'scene' for 3+ years between my divorce and most recent relationship to 'find myself'. I guess the common denominator is the fact that I've been introduced to EVERY relationship I've had by someone I knew. With Social Anxiety, it scares me to actually try to 'find' my own dates but it can't be worse than the typical outcomes so far...

This will sound cheesy but maybe you can find new hobbies and social interests. I used to go hiking when I was single because for me it’s easy to talk and walk versus be in a room with a bunch of people. I expanded my social circle and got lots of exercise at the same time. Best thing I ever did. Hopefully you can find something new and fun to do and you’re bound to meet new people. ❤️

Thank you! :-)

Personally I really would never cheat. I've never been in a relationship and I'm scared to be cheated on if I am ever in one(that's not the reason why I haven't had relationships though).

My belief is that a successful relationship doesn't have to last a lifetime in order to be considered successful and fulfilling. I think most relationships aren't going to last that long, as in the feelings won't, and that is absolutely ok. For me, a successful relationship is one that is fulfilling while we both want and care for the other and that is respectful and positive while those feelings exists for both of us. Thus, it's ok if one falls out of love or isn't satisfied anymore, it doesn't mean the relationship was a failure or a waste.

So cheating is out of the question, I don't believe in staying with someone and cheating behind their backs to "spare them the suffering of leaving them" or not "fail" in the relationship. If you're in a monogamous relationships then once you feel you can no longer be fulfilled by being with that person and no one else on the side, you should take it as a cue that the relationship has run its course and it's better to be honest about it and finish it before you sleep with anyone else.

Absolutely. People do remain faithful and there are many people out there that take relationshps very seriously. Think about it. You are one that strives for this. You can't think you're alone in a world of only unfaithful people. If you can do it you have to know there are others out there like you. I take it seriously and have never cheated and I'm older than you, been through being cheated on myself so don't think I take this lightly at all. It hurts and sometimes it does seems like more people will go the route of adultery but here's the thing.

Cheaters are always looking for others to hook up with and so therefore by that fact alone are easier to find, are more ready to get into a relationship so they are also more visible. They dont' take relationships seriously so they are easy to jump in (not really jumping in since they keep one foot on the other side of the fence but you get my point). The person that's going to be devoted and committed is going to be 1. harder to find as they are going to be more picky lik you and I, 2. are not going to be as quick to commit, and 3. take a lot more work for them to be convinced YOU are devoted and committed because more than likely they've been where you are at some point.

Take heart, they are out there just find your own way, take care of yourself and don't get in a rush to find someone, the right one is never easy or a quick find.

hope this helps.

I am in my mid 40's something and had 2 long (lasted many years) relationships so far. I had been faithful to both of them. The last one cheated on me. The first one I don't know, but I was suspecting him. I am against cheating.

Yes, they do. I know couples who have been faithful for years--such as my husband and me, thirty years the 30th of this month!

I was in a bad marriage I was unhapoy in for 33 years & we both stayed faithful. I left 11 years ago & for financial reasons am just getting my divorce. I have not gone out or had any relatiknships during those 11 years. It has taken me that long to sort through the marriage issues & honestly I like my single alone life with many winderful good friends & activities keeping me busy. Being faithful to my values was what kept me faithful in my bad marriage as ut definitely wasn't love.

I've been faithful to my wife for 35 years.

I have never cheated on any of the boyfriends I've ever had.