[SCP-122]

Hey everyone. I need some advice fast. I was in a relationship with my first boyfriend and I'm not sure if I shouldve broken up with him. Here's the problem. I love him deeply. He's kind, caring, and sensitive. However, there's some glaring issues I've tried to ignore that I just can't anymore. For starters he only works part time for part of the year. The rest of the year he earns disability for 1,500 bucks a month that he uses to pay for his rent and other expenses. To make it worse he doesn't spend his money well and whenever I've made suggestions to help him he doesn't listen or try, and has admitted he's lazy too. He constantly asks me if I have money to help him buy stuff and even though he doesn't get mad at me I can see he's dissapointed when I say no. While he lives by himself, he's constantly asking his mom for money and gets mad when she says no. He constantly says he's not perfect and that's fine but not an excuse. He's way too emotional and had said how he'd be devastated without me. He's even gone on record to say that he knows he's emotional and has been very dramatic about things not going right in his life (ex. saying he wants to die or smash his head into a wall about his family issues or having issues with money or minor inconveniences). He's made comments about me making noises while I sleep and eating too much despite the fact that he's heavy like me and eats way more than me. Sometimes the way he would talk to his mom when he didn't get his way made me so sad and mad. He was constantly saying how much he's been in bad relationships before and it was always the girl but that seems very suspicious. I was constantly having to reassure him he was a good boyfriend. I also live with my parents as of right now, and while I get spending time with my man is important I felt like he was taking all my time. He would even say that nothing is stoping me from seeing my parents or leaving and he'd also get upset if I couldn't see him even if it was inconvenient for me. On top of it all, he had done a lot for me. He bought me stuff and it was always so wonderful. I loved laughing and talking with him. I loved how we liked a lot of the same things, but I'm not sure all of it is worth it. Thanks for listening, everyone.

[ShadowGX]

Have you tried sitting him down to talk about these concerns directly, but in a calm and loving manner? If you don't feel confident doing so yourself, would you be willing to see if he will go with you to a therapist? Seems to me that if you want the relationship to continue, he needs a reality check and should at least be trying to improve himself. I've been like him before, ashamed to admit. I didn't realize just how bad I was until I took a good hard look at why things kept failing. His view sounds similarly distorted as mine was. The good news is that he can still be saved if he wants to put in the effort, but it's on him to put in that effort.

[SCP-122]

I have tried talking to him politely about improving and he says he's trying but I didn't really seem putting in as much effort as he claimed. What sucks is that everyone around me has said I did the right thing and usually when a lot of people can see it then there generally is some problem going on. I know I'm an adult and I generally like to go my own way but sometimes I've been in denial when everyone else can see what I don't. Heck, I even asked my aunt what she thought, as she's been in similar situations before, and she said I did the right thing.