[Peonie30]

So I made a thread here in this forum about my former friend and my jealousy issues towards her to the point that I unfriended her on Facebook without her knowing the root cause (jealousy) of why I did it:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/rela...se-friend.html

Now, I'm confused whether replying to her greeting me a happy birthday today was the "right"
thing to do after ignoring her for so long cuz even though I'm at war whether to reply to her OR not, I chose the former out of courtesy since what little of my conscience left was nagging me to do it.

[Talthybius]

I would tell her why you tried to stop being her friend. But that assumes you want to be friends again. If somehow you cannot be friends because you still feel jealously.

But I didn't agree with you in the first place. Both the not being friends anymore and the way you decided to try to stop being friends.

And now she wished you happy birthday, well happy birthday to you, I am kind of confused how you wished you would have completely ignored her. If you know for sure someone is trying to be friends with you, why not let them know if you don't want to. Even if you want to hide your personal reasons, just say so. Why try to completely ignore someone who was a friend and tries to be a friend?

So I do not know why you are still at war with yourself. Why aren't you relieved? I don't know exactly what you send her or exactly what you think you want. But why not tell her everything? If she is offended by the truth, you get what you want. You don't need to be her friend anymore. If she understands and appreciates your honestly, you have a friend again and you are both on the same page without any hard feelings or things to worry about. Except of course you cannot do something similar every few months. You say 'ignoring her for so long' but it was only a few weeks or a month? I recently reconnected with someone I didn't see for 12 years.

And as for the source of your jealousy, if you want to be successful professionally, you better surround yourself with people who are already successful. If all your friends are losers then yes you will be the most successful one among your friends, but they may drag you down. If you associate with people who already achieved what you want to achieve, just associating with them will help you in indirect ways. Their mindset will rub off on you. Yes, jealously isn't the best emotion. But it is not like you are jealous of her boyfriend. It is not like it is completely impossible for you to both work at the same prestigious hospital.

[healingme4me]

I think it is better to ensure that all who left wishes got a thank you. By not leaving her out of the whole picture, it doesn't raise any flags to anyone who might notice.

[Peonie30]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I think it is better to ensure that all who left wishes got a thank you. By not leaving her out of the whole picture, it doesn't raise any flags to anyone who might notice.

You're right.

I asked this question on a different forum as well, and one of the posters said that it's better to do something that will not make me think of tomorrow. Like resolution is better than being on the right. After realizing what he said, it made me think that maybe the solution was to not reply to her even though I think that's not the right thing to do.

[mote.of.soul]

Hello. Yes, acknowledging a birthday wish is okay because even though you're not Fb friends anymore, it doesn't necessarily make you enemies as such. Why should it? So, the status has basically changed from 'friend' to 'acquaintance', that's all. But, yes, a little awkward I'd imagine. That's okay.