[bella9542]

My parents never showed any affection towards each other or towards any of my siblings...I feel that I never learned how to really love someone and now it has an effect on me and marriage after all these years.

[Skeezyks]

Yes... the stuff we experience growing up stays with us for a lifetime. I'm 70 years old. And I still find myself struggling with stuff I struggled with as a child & a teenager. I'm not a mental health professional. But I presume what you describe would be considered to be childhood emotional neglect. There's a forum, here on PC, dedicated to that subject. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/chil...ional-neglect/

And then here are links to 4 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject:

7 Signs You Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect | Childhood Emotional Neglect

6 Important Facts About Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) | Childhood Emotional Neglect

How Childhood Emotional Neglect Affects Relationships

The 4 Greatest Obstacles To Healing Your Childhood Emotional Neglect | Childhood Emotional Neglect

[eskielover]

I grew up in Calif too with parents who showed no affection & when they tried I was so embarrassed by them (beyond normal kid embarassment) that I didn't want anyone to know they were my parents.

Then I ended up in a marriage with a guy that was exactly like my parents.

I always wondered if that was all there was to relationships but thought what I experienced must be normal.

After leaving my H after 33 years.....finally I moved to a whole new small town & experienced what real caring relstionships are like. It took me several years & a lot of therapy to process my past & a lot of patient friends but I have finally learned how mostly to connect with others though I have chosen to stay single.....it was a huge start just learning how to connect at a REAL level with other people.

I do know what you mean