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#1
Sep 08, 2018, 11:27 PM
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Hello,
I’m seeking advice. I have been with my boyfriend for ten years. We are both 30. For the past 3 years, he has been struggling with depression. Our relationship has also been suffering greatly. We have discussed separating, but I feel a lot of guilt and fear leaving him in the midst of depression. 2 years ago I tried to leave, and when I came home, he threatened suicide. So I stayed. Not much has changed, in fact it’s gotten worse. There is no talk of a future or family when he is depressed. Often when I try to talk, he shuts down. He refuses to take the medication prescribed to him, and He just started therapy after years of asking him to go. On top of it, he lost his job and is not actively seeking new employment. I am struggling and unhappy in this relationship, but struggling with the idea of leaving as well, because I know he is very unhealthy and needs someone right now. I Also care for him deeply and know the person I fell in love with is still there, just trapped. What should I do? |
 ShadowGX, Skeezyks
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#2
Sep 09, 2018, 02:20 PM
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Hello JAnn: Since this is your first post here on PC... welcome to PsychCentral!
 I'm sorry you are in this most difficult situation.  Here are links to a selection of 11 articles, from PsychCentral's archives. They include articles on how to help a loved one with depression & how to help someone who is in denial. Three articles address the subject of control & rescuing. And one discusses the issue of personal boundaries in relationships. This looks like a lot of reading!  But the articles are short. So it's not as much as it may appear. And I believe they offer better & more detailed advice than I could give you:6 Things to Say to Someone with Depression or Who's Depressed 10 Ways to Help Someone Who's Depressed 9 Best Ways to Support Someone with Depression Tips for Talking to a Loved One Who Has Depression Worst Things to Say to Someone Who's Depressed https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...dium=popular17 https://psychcentral.com/blog/11-way...-denial/?all=1 https://psychcentral.com/blog/you-ca...ange-yourself/ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...ant-to-change/ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...dium=popular17 https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-he...ries-in-yours/ I hope you find PC to be of benefit. 
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
 JAnn3455
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#3
Sep 09, 2018, 08:16 PM
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Thank you....this is helpful! Im ok with a lot of reading at this point.
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| Skeezyks
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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