Feeling hopeless

I haven't been here in a while. I've been too busy with life and now I'm in a hole. I feel so hopeless. I feel like it's time to break up with my boyfriend and I'm really sad. I love him but I feel like he's not trying anymore. It's not the same and this is not what I want. I can't talk to my friends or family because all they do is judge. I feel like a complete failure. I can't sleep, I can't eat. My life feels empty right now and I feel like going back to unhealthy coping mechanisms because the healthy ones aren't working. I can't afford to get help and my situation just seems really hopeless right now. I just need a listening ear to help me sort out my thoughts and emotions.

I'm so sorry no one is there for you at the moment. I'm assuming you can't afford therapy either. Do you have some kind of insurance that can help you? In any case, we'll be here to listen to you.

I think the thing that I've learned about relationships is that time is on your side. Not everything needs to be decided in the here and now. And stepping back to clear your head is necessary at times.

If you feel it isn't going anywhere with him, then it's probably not going anywhere. If he's not your best friend by this point, then what's the point?

How long have you been together?

It may seem your family and friends are judgemental. But it's only because their opinion is biased and they care about you so much and they want you to be happy. If you tell them you've been trying to make it better and everything is still going wrong in your relationship, of course they are going to side with you and say negative things about by him.

People go through difficult times like this all the time. The one thing I've noticed is that most people want to get back to feeling good quickly, but rarely can that happen. My daughter was sad over some problem she had with her job. She wanted to talk. I told her it was okay to be sad. Why? Because we're human beings, it's normal to be sad when something happens that we don't like. I'm not saying you should fully indulge and wallow in sadness. But I also don't think there's a magic cure to end your sadness quickly. And I think the sadness is part of a growth experience that comes from experiencing loving relationships. There are many people who will return to a relationship that doesn't work, just so they can avoid that sadness. What they don't realize is they are trading one type of sadness for another. This is what works for me when I'm struggling, talk and talk and talk and talk, go for a workout, go for long walks (alone), meditate, take Passion Flower, rent a sad movie and cry, go to a dog park and pat puppies (or a pet store). Just do something that gives you a break from the sadness. But more importantly, feel sad, but also do things to feel better.