That was a punch to the gut

I pulled out my old camera and went over the recordings on it. I found a message my ex left me 4 years ago. Just saying he loved me and stuff. Told me to hit him up on the video after I was done watching. I texted him about it since we're still on speaking terms. He thought it was funny it had taken me this long to watch it. Then we said our goodbyes, both without an "I love you" at the end. Still hurts. It's always on the tip of my tongue and I have to choke it down. I'm not over him, but I'm trying to move on. After watching that and smiling at it, I feel back to square one. Seeing how much he loved me then, to nothing that powerful now... it just hurts. ****, will I ever get over this?

Yes you will.

Oh I’m so very sorry. I felt so sad for you as I was reading this because I know how hard it is to lose someone you love. They say that sitting with your sad feelings is the best way to grieve... versus trying to run away from the sad feelings... even though grief and sadness feels at times like it can overtake you... it won’t. ((((((Big hug))))))

That's sad because it did bring up that past. Yes, you can get over him.

delete the video, and all images and things that remind you of him. you'll be hard pressed to move on for real if you keep those things so easily accessible. Not saying this would be easy to do but I feel very strongly that it's something that would help you a lot. the watching of the video did nothing but make you feel bad about the loss. Not worth it.