If someone is asking for your help, is it okay to ask financial questions?

I took it the same way "... we got more food ... without standing in line..." because of a friend. seems wrong to me. Sorry to say that friend at the food bank ought to be let go due to unfair practices to be honest.

Absolutely disgusting and shameless. I wish I didn’t read it. I occasionally volunteer in homeless shelter/soup kitchen and can’t imagine anyone even trying to cut lines or employees/volunteers serving food to their buddies first. Can’t even wrap my mind around it.

Bang on!

The smoking habit ought not to be supported and jumping the line AND getting more food is appalling. You have been taking advantage of the good nature of those around you. You need to set straight priorities. You also need to consider the plights of those around you - ie. those that fairly stood in line and took their turns graciously. As another pointed out, there were starving children ahead of you that got less because you jumped the queue and took more than your share. Do you honestly think this is something deserving and to be happy about?

Uh...I think this thread has gone astray from my original question to responding to Blogwriter's reply...anyway, I appreciate those who answered my original question. Thank you all.

I honestly see nothing wrong with setting up a GoFundMe for yourself IF you are in a financial or medical crisis and need that extra help getting back on your feet.

If I had just lost my job or got kicked out of school and was at risk of homelessness and felt like I had no other way to pay my rent on time, I would open a GoFundMe for myself in a heartbeat. I am afraid of homeless shelters and don't feel safe/comfortable living somewhere with a lot of people so if setting up a GoFundMe would get me out of such an undesirable situation than I would set one up without a second thought.

Hi Divine,


I stood in line like everyone else. My friend who works at the food bank also gave us food afterwards at our home. We appreciated that, because we were very low on food at the time.

My husband agreed with me on this -- he should not be smoking cigarettes (which are much more expensive than him using a pipe) unless he is working. We were both disturbed that we had run so low on food because he was smoking heavily. I said, "No," but my husband also had to say, "No" in order for him to stop buying so many cigarettes.

Please read my comment. I did stand in line and waited my turn. My neighbor decided to help us after I had gone to the food bank. She only lives a few doors down from us.

Please see my responses to S4ndm4n and Divine. I stood in line like everyone else. My husband finally agrees we should not support him smoking cigarettes. A smoking habit is hard to break. It is both physically and psychologically addictive.

Haters always gonna hate. Don't let the small stuff bother you.

But yeah I do agree though that cigarettes aren't good, especially when you're already struggling. Cigarettes cost a lot more than food. Are there any services in your area that offers free nicotine patches? If you live in the U.S, I know that some states have a hotline or website you can visit to get help with quitting smoking. If so, I would make him stop buying cigarettes all together and make him use said services.

Hate? More like pointing out common sense - which needed to be done. I am not going to validate what is clearly poor behaviour by ignoring it.

I was referring to those who kept saying blogwriter's actions are so morally wrong without fully understanding the whole situation.

Never did like it when people assume and judge people without fully comprehending their situation.

Pointing out the issues with the cigarettes is the right choice though.

so was this food donated from the food bank too? Because that still calls into question the ethics of the person working for the food bank if so.

*edit* to clarify, the original post did not state that detail which leaves out information that is vital to understanding the situation clearly. As with my added question, it depends on whether the friend helped you out of their own resources or used the food bank's. if they went out of their way and shared with you out of their own resources, nothing wrong with that.

Hi S4ndm4n,

Some people might think it is unethical. First, I got food from the food bank from going in line and waiting my turn. Then we got additional food less than a week later. I don't know for sure whether it is from the food bank, but the food was much appreciated. It was around Christmas time, and it would have been hard to enjoy the Christmas/New Year season with very little food in the house, and we were going through another situation at the same time. My mother-in-law passed away at the end of September. I agree I should have been clearer in explaining how we got our food.

I understand why people may have gotten upset but lets remember that the op clearly needed the food to survive and no one should be going hungry. Its one thing if people can afford it but game the system. Its another if someone who needs the food and will clearly benefit from it getting lucky enough to get a little extra. i try not to poverty/poor/finacially shame people.

Totally agree there! As I stated, the Blogwriter's case sounded like a legitimate case of struggling, as opposed to the person asking for my help in my original post.

In regards to situation with ethics of food bank story I am just going exactly but what is being said: “In addition to that, we got more food from the food bank without standing in line because another friend works there.”

It clearly states that additional food was from the food bank and it was obtained without standing in line and because friend works there. I don’t care either way but I can read and that’s what was posted. I didn’t make stuff up

Thanks Divine. You are always prudent in your posts so I know are not the type to make stuff up. (If you recall, I suspected you of being an undercover therapist when you first responded to my post. LOL).

I'm looking forward to more posts from you.

Not a therapist lol but something similar. Thanks for kind words. I admire your desire to get to the bottom of things, find healthy balance and do the right thing!