[karissa0]

I have recently been in contact with my ex boyfriend again. I have since blocked him but something i can't stop thinking about is whether he actually cares about me or if this was all just a game to you. or maybe he just is very confused? he tells me he still loves me but not enough to want to be in a relationship, that he cares about me but he is too unstable to be in a relationship, that he has feelings for me but a relationship would never work. What does all this mean? He sends out constant mixed signals and acts flirty but then aloof the next minute. I don't understand this and maybe I never will. I just want some insight into this. He also has recently been admitted to the hospital for a 2nd suicide attempt a few weeks ago. I was fine with just being his friend until he started sending mixed signals. Idk what to think about him.

[downandlonely]

If he was just admitted to the hospital, it does sound like he's too unstable to be in a relationship. It's possible that he's sending mixed signals because he doesn't know what he wants. That said, I can't read his mind (especially since I have never met him), so I can't know for sure what he's thinking. You have to take care of yourself though. It sounds like you may need to take a break from him until he's more stable.

[Quarter life]

It does sound like he is dealing with some difficult issues, and is unable to see his way ahead where his life is concerned, let alone relationships, and this is totally understandable. This said, there is no reason why it has to be all or nothing between you both. He obviously cares for you, and you feel the same for him....this may be enough for now. Having someone for him to confide in and show him support is probably what he needs most right now.

Please be kind & generous to yourself and your friend karrissa, who knows what the future may hold.

[MickeyCheeky]

I understand your confusion. Perhaps he's just as confused... and clarity is one of the most important aspects in a relationship. I'm not sure getting back to him is a wise decision... You can still support him, though, even if you're not in a relationship.

[karissa0]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

If he was just admitted to the hospital, it does sound like he's too unstable to be in a relationship. It's possible that he's sending mixed signals because he doesn't know what he wants. That said, I can't read his mind (especially since I have never met him), so I can't know for sure what he's thinking. You have to take care of yourself though. It sounds like you may need to take a break from him until he's more stable.

Yes I do agree he is too unstable to be in a relationship and at least he is vocalizing that rather then getting involved with me again and hurting us both. I care for him a lot but idk if it’s the best for me to talk to him right now. I want to take care of myself as well and not add onto his pain.

[karissa0]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I understand your confusion. Perhaps he's just as confused... and clarity is one of the most important aspects in a relationship. I'm not sure getting back to him is a wise decision... You can still support him, though, even if you're not in a relationship.

Even though I love him and care for him so much I agree with you that getting back together would probably not be wise. Especially due to our past and what he is going through as well. He needs to better himself before he can even think about a relationship

[karissa0]

Originally Posted by Quarter life

It does sound like he is dealing with some difficult issues, and is unable to see his way ahead where his life is concerned, let alone relationships, and this is totally understandable. This said, there is no reason why it has to be all or nothing between you both. He obviously cares for you, and you feel the same for him....this may be enough for now. Having someone for him to confide in and show him support is probably what he needs most right now.

Please be kind & generous to yourself and your friend karrissa, who knows what the future may hold.

You’re totally right and I do want to be a support and friend to him too. But just the back and forth with him is not healthy for me to be around. Maybe it’s best for me and him that I stay away for a while and he can get better. I surely don’t know what the future holds but I just want him to be healthy and get better. Thank you though and I will do my best to take care of myself and still care for him, even if that’s from a distance.

[karissa0]

Another thing that happened a couple days ago was we became intimate and the next day I told him I felt bad because I don’t like to do stuff like that with people I’m not dating and he said he felt guilty but didn’t wanna say no yet he initiated it... he apologized and said he feels terrible but this was kind of the final straw for me this time. I had the idea in mind he wanted to get back together while he was engaged in this with me but I am aware he has many many issues right now. I feel like this incident ruined any possibility of a friendship which is why I blocked him and cut off contact for right now. I feel bad as well that I should have known due to the state he’s in I shouldn’t have gone along with it and I should have known better. It’s just very stressful and clearly we BOTH got caught up in the moment. Before I cut off contact he told me that he won’t act like that again and he doesn’t know when he will be ready for a relationship but he cares for me a lot and doesn’t want to hurt me. I’m so lost about this situation and dunno what the right thing is to do

[MickeyCheeky]

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by karissa0

Another thing that happened a couple days ago was we became intimate and the next day I told him I felt bad because I don’t like to do stuff like that with people I’m not dating and he said he felt guilty but didn’t wanna say no yet he initiated it... he apologized and said he feels terrible but this was kind of the final straw for me this time. I had the idea in mind he wanted to get back together while he was engaged in this with me but I am aware he has many many issues right now. I feel like this incident ruined any possibility of a friendship which is why I blocked him and cut off contact for right now. I feel bad as well that I should have known due to the state he’s in I shouldn’t have gone along with it and I should have known better. It’s just very stressful and clearly we BOTH got caught up in the moment. Before I cut off contact he told me that he won’t act like that again and he doesn’t know when he will be ready for a relationship but he cares for me a lot and doesn’t want to hurt me. I’m so lost about this situation and dunno what the right thing is to do

Since he's attempted or was hospitalized, he is very unstable and will rope you into his state of disarray and confusion. He said he cares for you, but that he cannot be in a relationship. And it IS for the best that you're not involved with him. I would say it's probably best to just let go right now and tell him it's better if you are away from one another so he can heal and get better. Being friends may be too hard when you're romantically interested. That's my two cents.