[eclairparty98]

Hi there, I've been thinking. Back in August/late July, I broke up with my ex for doing something terrible and I really felt so relieved that I would no longer have to deal with any of those problems again, thanks to my LIBERATING decision... BUT, I'm now starting to feel a certain way and I'm not entirely sure how exactly. Bad, perhaps??

After the break up, we tried being friends which worked for two days but it didn't work out at all. So I decided to say goodbye before I blocked him so it wasn't like I'd be ghosting him as I thought he deserved a "heads up, I'm leaving" message, you know?? However, I blocked before he could reply, for good reason, in my opinion - he was manipulative and me leaving wasn't up for discussion. He did some really awful things I won't mention so at the time , when it was all fresh, I didn't want to hear his response as I was pretty disappointed still.

Then, a month or two later, he messages me on a dating app as if nothing ever happened so I told him not to message unless he was serious about being just friends - I never heard anything back.

NOW I'm confused and conflicted

IN SHORT should I unblock my ex and talk out why I had to block him? Because I feel a little bit of guilt for not letting him respond even though he'd done bad things and disappointed me. I don't want to date him again, it just feels strange not at least being civil. Thoughts?

If he did something awful, why would you consider explaining the reasons why you had to block him? Why give to him in that way? He most likely doesn't deserve a reason. You're being far too nice, imo, even though I don't know what he did exactly, but I am sure it wasn't good. I don't think it would have even been bad to ghost him either, if he did something so terrible. Do you even really want this person as a friend? Would you advise a good friend of yours to keep someone like him in her life?? If it were your own daughter, would you advise your daughter to befriend someone who was a jerk?

[eclairparty98]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

If he did something awful, why would you consider explaining the reasons why you had to block him? Why give to him in that way? He most likely doesn't deserve a reason. You're being far too nice, imo, even though I don't know what he did exactly, but I am sure it wasn't good. I don't think it would have even been bad to ghost him either, if he did something so terrible. Do you even really want this person as a friend? Would you advise a good friend of yours to keep someone like him in her life?? If it were your own daughter, would you advise your daughter to befriend someone who was a jerk?

That's an excellent point, thank you - I haven't thought about it like that but I'll definitely start. I'm usually rational supporting others but don't always seem to be that way when it comes to my self, haha.

I've already explained to him my reasons. He knows exactly how I feel, I was very open and very blunt - I don't want him as a friend anymore , my issue is/was feeling bad about him not expressing how he felt. But the more I think about it, I shouldn't care, I suppose... maybe I am just being too nice.

Originally Posted by eclairparty98

That's an excellent point, thank you - I haven't thought about it like that but I'll definitely start. I'm usually rational supporting others but don't always seem to be that way when it comes to my self, haha.

I've already explained to him my reasons. He knows exactly how I feel, I was very open and very blunt - my issue is/was feeling bad about him not expressing how he felt. But the more I think about it, I shouldn't care, I suppose... maybe I am just being too nice.

Yes, you're being far too nice. When someone wrongs us, which I am assuming he did, why would he deserve an explanation for you blocking and not wanting to hear what he has to say? He is probably going to BS his way through it anyways. Why give him the chance? Why bend over backwards explaining yourself to a jerk? If he was a complete A-hole, he doesn't deserve your attention OR friendship. Move on... forget him. Find other people who are better. By not giving him the time of day, you're standing up for yourself and are showing self respect.

[Bill3]

You don’t have to listen to his efforts to undermine your resolve.

[eclairparty98]

Thank you, both Bill3 and golden_eve, so much for the support - offloading here has really made me realise he really isn't worth it at all and that I am just being too nice... particularly with the horrible thought of a loved one having any sort of relationship with a person like him. Not good. But I feel much better and less conflicted, thanks again I really appreciate it as always