[LiteraryLark]

Last night was the first time I slept over with my bf. He kept me up half the night due to his night terrors. He is a combat vet with PTSD and he was crying, shouting, thrashing around for a good portion of the night. It was sad and scary. I didn't know what to do. I tried massaging him at one point without thinking if it could have made it worse, but he woke up and was very embarrassed. When he woke up this morning he didn't remember the night terrors but knew he had them and was very embarrassed. I tried to laugh it off but it was sad and scary and I am very concerned.

What should I do? How do I support his night terrors? I'm not sure if physical touch is a good thing, I don't know if there's anything I could say to make him feel better in the moment, or if I should try to ignore it to not further embarrass him. What I said to him this morning about being understanding and accepting and that it's just a natural part of PTSD seemed to make him feel better. I am concerned about him and I don't know how to help him.

[katydid777]

I get them. Most of the time I just get nightmeres, but then a terror. My H has a c-papp machine, so he no longer can tell. With me, I can't move, but I feel like I am screaming my head off, and I am like Linder Blare in the Exercist movie. I take meds so I can get some sleep, but I don't have any memory's of terrors, or nightmeres when I take it. Has he seen a P Doc? If so could you go with him the next time, and tell the Doc. how it is? BC the Doc. may not be getting the full picture. Just a though.

[Imokay2]

In my experience it comes down to people being sure someone is going to leave them because they can't deal with their 'issues', if you just stay and support emotionally, eventually he'll understand that you aren't so superficial.
As for the nightmares, it seems like over time they start to be less dominant. But, like others would say, they don't want to remember them, and spilling it to their significant other can cause other problems, no matter how well meaning you are.
Like the person before me said, maybe encourage without pushing-for him to seek professional guidance.

[~Christina]

My ptsd nightmare/terror’s are hellish. It doesn’t happen every night but quite often. It does help me in general when my husband reaches out a arm and touches my back.

I take Tenex which is a hbp Med but has properties that lessen ptsd nightmares... it’s helped me. Mini press is another med.

Is he in Therapy to hopefully help him process what happened ?

Your doing the right thing supporting him

[katydid777]

I have been married for over 25 years, and my H has snored most of that time. Not a soft snore, but one that is loud like a train. He never believed me that it was that bad. I finally recorded him, then he ended up having a sleep study done. He has been on a c-papp machine for about 5 years now. I bring this up bc maybe your partner doesn't realize how bad his terrors are. Maybe you can video him, so the two of you can talk about it, and maybe he will see someone about it. This is just a thought, that may help your problem. If anything, he does need help, bc he isn't getting restful sleep.

[luvyrself]

My ex h was in combat in Vietnam. The va knows everything about ptsd. I am friends now w a jet contractor who just came back from Iraq. People don’t realize that all these guys face a 50% possibility of mortality in the Middle East. I think he has depression but it might be ptsd. He has to decide whether to go back there.
I would gently urge yr bf him to get treatment. Show him where the va is. Touch is what my friend likes best tho I don’t think he has night terrors. I would wake him up gently to stop them, then do what he is comfortable with, rubbing, hugging, whatever. Ask him gently what he wants you to do. The hell w the embarrassment issue. If you act relaxed, he is less likely to feel embarrassed. He’s hurting. Of course in the military they have to hold it all in and act macho. It’s complicated to learn when they get out that talking about it helps. When he’s comfortable w the idea, he can join a support group for vets w ptsd. Again, thru the va or whatever. Many college campuses have a veterans services office. Give him a huge hug for me.

[WishfulThinker66]

How timely as a co-worker was just describing her night terrors to me. I have described my own struggles with PTSD and the nightmares I have but her own experiences have caused me to question if I really can call them that.

She, it turns out, acts out upon her terrors - often violently. She and her husband must sleep in separate rooms as she has in the past attacked him and hurt him. She also said she has problems sleep walking. It is to such an extent that her husband has put bells on all the doors so as to wake him in order to allow him to respond. The fear she will hurt herself is very real. And yes, it sounds like there has been trauma in her past, she has not detailed it.

Anyway, I enquired about a cpap machine and she pointed out this has nothing to do with sleep apnea. They have checked when they hospitalised her for a week to observe her sleeping and concurrent behaviour.

So, my response then to you is to encourage your boyfriend to seek medical intervention. My friend is on medication which while it doesn't stop these events from happening, lessen the impact significantly.