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  #26  
Old Jan 22, 2019, 06:24 PM
Anonymous55879
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DazedandConfused,
When this song started playing during my afternoon walk--I thought of you.
Queen - Somebody To Love (Official Video)
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  #27  
Old Jan 22, 2019, 09:46 PM
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LiteraryLark LiteraryLark is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonelyMan View Post
all four billion? you have met an been rejected personally by all of them.? That is a massive over generalisation and does not even belong in a coherent sentence
That's rude to say. How is this helpful or supportive?
  #28  
Old Jan 23, 2019, 01:12 AM
DazedandConfused254 DazedandConfused254 is offline
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Nowinners: Thank you so much for sharing this! Very encouraging. I dig any classic rock and that includes Queen!

LiteraryLark: I hope that you don't worry about LonelyMan's post. I think he was helpful by being practical with me, a trait I often value when I sometimes have irrational ways of thinking. A lot of people, including myself don't like sugar-coatedness and instead just go for the honest answer, and I think LonelyMan is just one of those types. In my OP in one of the final paragraphs I asked if I was generalizing based on my past experiences or not, because when I am under the influence of anxiety I tend to generalize, and I think that they were just trying to address that part of my question. Again hope that you don't worry about this or feel like you have to do anything to protect me. Cheers!
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  #29  
Old Jan 23, 2019, 04:35 AM
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saidso saidso is offline
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Perhaps you could join clubs and social events outside college? I deliberately changed colleges from one in an isolated rural area to a big city so that I could have a choice of several different social scenes. It didn't solve everything!!! But it was a good move to study in a place where I felt stimulated and interested by life around me, rather than where I was surrounded by recreational drugs and manipulative people.
Since then I've seen young people who felt repressed at college suddenly reach out and find the right internship, for example. Their feelings changed overnight from despair to courage.
You will still struggle, but it's good to feel around for any social opportunities that excite you.

I could be writing that to myself : I'm having a stale social time right now, but transitioning to a new situation. I get scared that life will always be this much of a struggle, and it will, but I know that changing my situation will change the opportunities on offer.
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  #30  
Old Jan 23, 2019, 05:15 AM
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MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
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I'm so sorry, DazedandConfused254 Don't give up your search. I'm sure you'll find the right person for you eventually. My suggestion would be to simply meet as many people as you can, male or female, engage in social activities and improve your social skills, just like everyone else in this thread has already said. Perhaps that will improve your chances around women. I also agree with DarknessIsMyFriend about trying to hook up casually with some women if you can. That will give you some experience and will probably put you ahead. Relationships are hard for everyone, so don't worry, I don't think women hate you. You're not alone in this, as this thread has already shown. Just keep looking, be yourself and try your best. Feel free to PM me anytime. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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  #31  
Old Jan 24, 2019, 06:41 PM
DazedandConfused254 DazedandConfused254 is offline
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saidso: I think joining social organizations outside of college is a superb idea. As mentioned at the start of this thread, my emotions seemed to have been put into a box and I've fallen through the cracks with many people who claimed to be "friends". I admit I'm much more cynical and cautious around people than I was when I was an undergrad at college, but my recent trip to the Caribbean to get scuba-certified was nothing short of beneficial for me. Since diving is a social activity that encourages higher-level interaction and friendships, I met a cornucopia of interesting people and already lightyears away from where I was at even before starting some of my most recent rant-y threads. Maybe people in general aren't so bad after all. Thank you for encouraging me to make better choices with my social needs as well as for sharing your very relatable experiences! You are not alone in this struggle either because as I finish up my grad school program I'm transitioning too so it won't be easy but maybe it will all be worth it! Hope things get better for you too

MickeyCheeky: Thank you for your thoughtful contribution to my threads as always. As stated I sure hope that women hate me but grateful that you're providing some logic into my situation. Being in the middle of the introvert-extrovert spectrum I am not the kind of person who likes to take all of my time up with others, but its always worth expanding my repertoire or support group.

I'm not going to criticize anybody here who have recommended stronger social skills to improve my odds against women, but why do people keep giving this advice? We live in double-standards where the phrase "be yourself" is at every street corner, yet seemingly the entire human race always wigs out every time I screw up socially or have a quiet/introverted personality, and are always arbitrary as to what I can improve on or what they even define as social skills. It's like if I'm not absolutely perfect socially or 100% extroverted, it's a heinous crime and I'll live life at the bottom of society's totem pole and stay there Society's bias towards extroverts or "people's persons" is a large reason for my self-consciousness and insecurities.
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Last edited by DazedandConfused254; Jan 24, 2019 at 06:59 PM.
  #32  
Old Jan 25, 2019, 08:21 AM
Iloivar Iloivar is offline
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Have you tried dating apps? (which you can also use for making friends) With some of them, you can write almost limitless info about yourself, which will increase your likelihood of a more fitting match.
Thanks for this!
DazedandConfused254
  #33  
Old Jan 25, 2019, 05:55 PM
DazedandConfused254 DazedandConfused254 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iloivar View Post
Have you tried dating apps? (which you can also use for making friends) With some of them, you can write almost limitless info about yourself, which will increase your likelihood of a more fitting match.
I have not tried any dating apps yet. I used to be a dating app-skeptic due to some of the incidents involving fake profiles but now that time has passed and they have gained momentum I may actually try them for once. But I have to finish up school and start my career, and of course, overcome my bitterness discussed in my OP, first.
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