[Alpha03]

I've done nothing wrong, I say happy birthday to them on the WhatsApp, I've been polite, courteous, went to their birthday parties, go to their houses etc. Done nothing wrong. Neither has my father.

H aunty

1) Laughed 2012 final when I started talking while I do scoring
2) Laughed Bradford
3) Laughed Leic walked past 2016 with K and Manis
4) Laughed playing ball wolves 2016
5) Laughed Preston 2016 walking past to say bye
6) Snickered xmas
7) Laughed with P 2012/13 C xmas party at U aunty house

P Uncle

• When I went to Uni at 21, before that, he kept saying I’m behind, I’m behind others.
• At Raksha Bhandan 2012-I went to my uncle’s house late at night and the first thing that came out of his mouth was and speaking, looking at me angrily in front of everone to me “GET A LOAN FROM MY SISTER” “YEAH GET A LOAN”, he wanted to embarrass, humiliate and make me cry in front of everyone. (happened on Raksha day before Foa’s Dudley the venue meal 2012). Ask H, D-they won’t say it.
• After my grandmother’s funeral everyone was sitting in my oldest uncle’s living room and a photo is being passed around and for some reason he decide to embarrass me by saying “Look at him, he was soooo tall” “and now is stopped growing” and more things after that and everyone started laughing. (ask everyone, their was a photograph going round). Ask V
• He said “he doesn’t like people who don’t talk and sit by themselves” and V goes that’s just you.
• HE shouted at me cricket in August 2017.
• Ignores me.
• He says it’s going to be hard for me pointing fingers to my dad.
• He says if you get a muslim wife, does gesture pointing at mecca.
• He’s ignored me from mid 2015 till present, only acknowledges since mid 2015 till summer 2018 once every 6 times. Summer 16 cringly said ignored 16 going to hospital, ignored every xmas 2015, 16, 17, he has only acknowledged me properly once every 6 times. He ostracised me deliberately.
• He behaved differently towards me and my sister trying to manipulate me a few times.
• Did not come to house in June/July 2018 and came to Ch’s and S uncles-I seen him and his car at suresh uncles house.
• Many more things
• 2015 xmas party he also ostracised me and acknowledged all the others expect me.
• Even dad said when the guys came to the house, the Sandwell team that when he goes to xmas parties or events he brings stuff up.
• He’s deliberately neglecting, leaving me out and wanting to cause me to get upset by neglecting me all the time and also he gives everyone else support and encouragement and excludes me.

My grandma

was very mean towards me. I remember when I was about 5, I think I was naughty just like boys will be boys, I believe she/my aunty tied me up in a rope. She only favoured my sister and I remember her being very mean towards me when I was young, calling me names even slapping me for no reason once. I do remember her calling me names everytime she seen me and being horrible to me She even said I’m going to get a horrible wife at aged 11. Also she called me word “bohboh”-which my dad says it means “the thick/stupid one”.

U Aunty

My other aunty from my local area said things like I'm fat(I'm not fat), I'm too scared, when I went to her house recently and the very first she said on the floor she said angrily looking on the floor "what can I cook".

She even complains I only come to visit her sons to mess about.

She also said to me in an angrily manner looking at me “why don’t you tell your dad to apply for jobs in Asda” when my dad was out of work.

U Aunty also took advantage of my mom when she was alive and I came to know about this because P Uncle said this to everyone.

Missed my dad out of the camera D's birthday I was standing behind I saw it in 2018.

Laughed at me cricket match in 2012.

Said “he’s talking” laughing at me some xmas ago.

When I got C a job at the agency I heard them saw downstairs “A doesn’t help, only comes to mess about.”

C uncle and U Aunty did not acknowledge me at Diwali 2017, Xmas coming to my house and when their relatives in India came last week.

Manipulation when I was studying a top degree, I was only working once every 2 weeks and they went to people I’m working in Birmingham.

When I’m looking for a job, she goes how studying.

P Aunty

At a Christmas party in 2010, we was taking photo’s and this aunty decided to leave me out of the camera and when her kids said “why didn’t you get A in” she said “shush” laughing. Camera at a christmas party a couple of years ago

• and told my cousin to go towards her right so she can block me and she has been a bit mean and
• arrogant eavesdropping in my convo once at a wedding. At the same wedding there was to be an after party and
• her husband and her asked my sister come with us to the party and they walked straight past me saying nothing, thus I didn’t go with them to my uncle’s house and I went home with my dad and did not attend the afterparty. I felt they knew I was there but did not want me to come to the after party.
• Laughed home kant
• head down hall 2013 when said hi
• Ignored Diwali party 2015 when said bye
• May have ignored me barbcue moved away
-Laughed in front of my face with h aunty at u aunty house 2012/13


C uncle who lives in preston:


1) I can be a bit quiet, however, it's down to not knowing what to say, on a holiday in Germany, my uncle said when I was 18, "if you don't talk, who will marry you".​​

2) He went on holiday in 2010, which he visited my house and told me in "I've got you a wife from India" in a sterile, disrespectful way.​​

3) At my other uncle's house, he said, can you eat this as in to mock my cultural skills. Summer 2010.​​

4) This is the absolute worst that has happened to me:​​I was at my uncle's house in 2011, he was sitting their on the sofa adjacent to me, he suddenly said "can you cook" I said "yes". Then my uncle and everyone was talking about going to the pub and he was saying he's not going to take me. Then suddenly he said to my dad "are you worried your son's not going to get a wife"..........my dad said he will. There was some more chatter and my dad said I am a man now and with he's fingers pointing, he said "look at him, he's not a man"............ Then we went home, my main uncle wasn't in the sitting room at that time. He never bothered to phone to apologise or nothing.​​ This was the day before easter sunday party.

5) I remember I was upstairs when he came to my house, when I came down, he called me a "scardy cat" in my language or where is that "scardy cat" in 2013.​​

6) I remember when I was looking for work, he started smirking and told my father to get me a job in the factory.​​6.5) He goes to my sister to get me a job in marketing, maybe trying to mock me.​

​7) At 2014 christmas party at my uncle's house, we was looking at her daughters engagement video and their was a still image of a nice looking girl and he told me why don't you go for her. So he was picking on me in front of others.​​

8) When he and his wife came back from India for her daughters wedding in January 2015, he got my father and my sister a present, I noticed they did not get me anything.​​

9) He came to visit my house over Christmas 2015 and he said do you have a girlfriend, I said no which he went onto say can't you get one, I said I'm not looking for one.​​

10) Back in 2012 he said you do you have a girlfriend and he said why don't you go out on holidays, I was going to say I've been busy with my work, however, his wife went onto blurt, he's got no friends.​​

11) Kept signalling angry to me at his house in 2014 and said beforehand "are you going to talk".​​

12) Went sarcastic with son in law at the start of Christmas 2017.​​

13) I believe he wants a reaction or not so he goes to my sister "how much money do you earn", "are you on this money" a couple of times when he's come to my house.​

​14) He said to my father "no one picks up the phone" and he didn't want to listen to my father when he says "but everyone is working" I got bullied by another uncle at a Christmas party because he just believed I don't pick up the phone.​

15) He came the other day to my house and he said to my sister "its your house(to my sister), so are you going sell the house and get a percentage back?"

He just hasn't bothered to even say "what am I doing" "what am I up to" or "what is my plans" for the last 18 months since he's seen me 14 times. And I acknowledge him saying "how's retirement".

They got my dad a present, my sister a present (I lost my mother a long time ago), but not me for the last 2 years.

S Uncle

1) At a wedding in Leic in Nov 2014, I went to shake his hand and all he did was look at me angrily and pushed my hand away while I went to shake his hand. I’m thinking why did he angrily push my hand away.

At this Christmas party at P Uncle’s house gone, my uncle was sitting on the table with my other cousin and this uncle kept talking about me and my father in a bad way behind my back. He was saying it quietly so I could not hear it.

2) Later on the party, for no reason, he said “A doesn’t pick the phone when he phoned on Monday and Tuesday” thus trying to damage my reputation. How would he know if I’m available to pick up the phone or not? If I call and cannot reach my uncle’s house, I either then call his mobile phone or text him, easy done. I also feel there is a plot to ruin my reputation because you cannot just say “A doesn’t pick up the phone” and then spread a rumour about it. It doesn’t make sense, if no one is picking up the house phone for 2 days, they why not phone my sister’s mobile or my mobile phone or text instead?
He is the sort of person to talk to others behind their back because I’ve just witness him talking behind my back.
3) Sarcarstic at his house.

C Uncle

At his Christmas party a few years ago my dad was saying something and he said “do you see your wife’s ghost at night”
When I went upstairs to play on my cousins Playstation he would be saying things about me or even mocking me.
He said something at the recent christmas party in 2016 something related to how

Also the other cousin p:

1) I lost my mom when I was young and he laughed when he's dad said to my dad "do you see your wife's ghost at night" at a Christmas party.
2) At a sports match somebody said I'm going to graduate with a good degree and he got angry and told me to "give his jacket to his dad" 2015.
3) At a practice session he said "I'm useless to others" 2013.
4) He started looking at me and laughing to others outside the practice session.
5) He said during the sports game sarcastically "I've finally started talking" 2014 leic when Che played shot and got house Diz was in slip.
6) He said to others "I don't talk" loudly and rudely 2014 Bradford final.
7) He cut me out and ignored me when I came to his house to visit his parents in October.
8) Did the same thing in November.
9) Last three Christmas parties in 2015, 2016 and 2017 he acknowledge others but ignored me quite ruthlessly.

10) At a party he acted big towards me and told a lie saying he got into a few jobs which he's choosing from.

11) called me and his brother prats.
12) hasn't bothered to acknowledge me properly for the last 3.5 years.
13) He pointed the camera at my direction and the flash went off at his house when playing playstation.

14) He takes a dig out on people, I remember him saying "have you seen when N's husband looks like"

They have never given me the support, encouragement. Don't help out or anything. Don't even acknolwedge me, or give any sense of recognition I've recently started self employement and they know it. They know I've had a diffucult life and they sense my shyness and give me no help or anything. They've been ostracising me for a long time now.

My dad even said to uncle p "I don't come because people blame him." He told man R "about all the stuff they done to him". My dad also told uncle from preston you don't know what uncle p is like and he also told my sister a couple of times you don't know how corrupt they are the uncles.

[Travelinglady]

Oh, my, you certainly have a long list of wrongs they have done. I'm sorry they treat you this way. The best thing to do is to live your life and do the best you can. I doubt they will change.

[sarahsweets]

That is quite a list! I wonder if all those "wrongs" are as important or carry the weight that you have given them?

[Open Eyes]

I am sorry you have so many mean selfish people around you in your family. They are behaving in some very dysfunctional ways around you, my advice is to get your education and build your own life and stay away from these individuals, they are clearly not worth your time and are not any kind of positive healthy influence on you either.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry for what you've been through, Alpha03 That's definitely a lot of stuff. I'm so sorry you're feeling hurt. My advice would be to just ignore them, cut off contacts with them (as some of them have already started doing apparentely) and just move on with your life. Yes, it does hurt when our own family rejects us, but I believe it's the best thing to do in some cases. We don't need more toxic people in our lives, after all. I'm so sorry, please don't give up. I hope you have some friends or other family member that are more supportive of you. Or any kind of support system IRL, really. I hope writing here helps a bit. I believe in you. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I hope you'll feel better soon. If it can help a bit... I'm here for you. I'll listen to what you have to say. I care about you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you