Someone Please Help, I’m So Confused and Scared

I don't think that advice about trying to talk to her husband and get him to "see" her side or reason with her is good advice.

This man is abusive. You cannot reason with an abusive person.

He will continue to treat her like crap, he will continue to be mean, he will continue to be passive aggressive and ignore her, no matter what nice things she does for him, and he will continue to throw tantrums and threaten divorce.

He is trying to control her, as all abusers DO.

And she will continue to internalize all of his blame that SHE is the problem, when HE is the problem. She will continue to only feel bad about herself and insecure with this man. This is an extremely toxic and unhealthy situation.

She needs to end the marriage, in my opinion. And I am very experienced in abusive relationships. Abuse statistically worsens over time.

I read on another thread of the OP's that he told her he was only marrying her to please his parents. That is another huge red flag.

She should be the one filing for divorce at this point.

Doglover, I hope you are hanging in there. Please update us soon.

Doglover, how was your weekend?

Hi everyone. Update.

I was really, really stupid and spent a few days believing that everything was back to normal and okay. My husband never apologized for what he did but told me he forgave me for overreacting and that he was not leaving me, and I was so stupid and relieved to have him around and someone to talk to that I didn’t mention anything he did and welcomed him with open arms. We spent the last three days having a great time and really enjoying each other and everything felt like it was perfect. And then tonight all hell broke loose again and he’s threatening to leave me again.

So, for background, I don’t have a drivers license. I have extreme anxiety and am just now at the point where I’m starting to get comfortable behind the wheel and thinking of finally getting my license. My husband knew this when he married me and when we were dating he always dropped me off and picked me up from work if he was free to (if he was not than my parents always would) Well today he had a bad day at work and came to pick me up afterwards since I get off later. When I got in the car he asked if I’d make dinner when we got home and I said of course (I’m not the greatest cook but I can make simple things). By the time we got home he said “Never mind, I’ll cook” and I said why, I’m happy to make something for you, and he kept insisting to just forget it, he’ll cook. Well, after he ate, he told me he had something to tell me. I said what, and he told me he is extremely resentful towards me because I do nothing for him. I don’t cook, I don’t drive, and I never clean (which is not true; I clean a lot). He said it’s only a matter of time till the resentment gets to be more than he can take because all I do is take and never give. I got really upset at this and started crying, and he said “See, you obviously haven’t learned from last time. So I guess I will be leaving on Monday. I can’t be around you anymore”

He said a lot of truly hurtful things, including that he feels I’m a child, that I’m not worth his time, and that he’s wasted 3 years of his life on me. I feel so broken and alone.

curious why you posted this under two different titles. your other post "husband walked out" is identical I suggest you close one of them so that there is no confusion between the two threads